Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[dave the pie]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

at work pissing my self @ this!!! LEG END.

 

[dave the pie]

actually i hav one myself. my mate has a little holiday home in wales and about 8 of us go there afew times a year, about 2 years ago we r all playing centurion (100 shots of something alcholic in 100 minutes) anyway we are about half way an one mate is doing it with cheap champagne. we r all around a big table which is in the kitchen. He decides he needs to be sick, so rushes to the back door which was locked, but had the key in the door. Hes franticley trying to unlock the door but to no avail. Hands tight over mouth with the other 7 of us pissing our sides, he turns to the full to the brim sink an through his tightley clasped fingers which act like a finger under a running tap yacks all over the sink, plates, cups, all up the back wall, all over the floor, on the cooker absolutly every where. He spent the next hour cleaning up. That will go to my grave with me!!!

 

[shadygiz]

one of my mates (a veggie) had a mushroom stroganoff for tea....went to bed later....he got up in middle of night with deli belly, so he runs to the toilet....halfway across the landing he farts and carries on to the bog.....he finishes up and goes back to bed.....next morning his missus finds a whole button mushroom sitting on the landing carpet

 

[tueartsboots]

Have pissed in the wardrobe, have pissed in my little brothers toy box but worst one was getting caught by me auld fella pissing in the kitchen sink- full of pots ! I just just used to close 1 eye to focus at him, say "hic, whaverere dunno wad ya shtalking abit" and stumble off to bed.
He used to piss behind the TV when I was a kid so he couldn't really say owt !

 

[goat boy]

Classic thread, all over. Fucking hilarious.

Been there, done that. Hotel room. My employer paid for the room (and the ale), and the proprietor was one of his friends, so that's as much as I'm saying, apart from the fact that ex Miss goat boy did a sterling job of taking care of the mess ;)

 

[burning blue soul]

drunken sleep pissing is one thing but i have unfortunately done a sober awaken squirt in my time, those damn front doors fecking KNOW, JUST KNOW you are dying for a piss!!!

anyways, had a mate who was staying at his girls' parents house a few years ago. he got over-boozed and ended up pissing in the parents bedside wardrobe, they woke up to see him shaking his 'old man' and stagger out of the room.

my closest call was when i was 10 years old, sunday morning, 6am getting ready to go fishing with my dad, i am stood at the bathroom sink when my 17 year old drunken brother staggers in and proceeds to piss down the back of my trousers, i go mental at him and push him away, his responce is to say "soz terry" - dont know who he was appologising to but im not terry!

another mate (whose wife had visited her mother for the night) had an elicite roll in the duvet with a friend of his wifes', she pissed the bed and fucked off and he had to cough it to his wife that he had pissed himself.

 

[leighton]

At the a job Xmas party 1 year we were staying over for the night they paid for everything sharing the room with another bloke went for a slash in a drunken state. Instead of going into the door were the bathroom was I went out of door and on to the balcony there I was having a slash and what happens the door slams behind me to make matters worst I couldn't wake up my room mate and had to jump accross the next balcony and bang down the door to get back into the hotel in a pair of boxers. Next morning I found out it was the bosses room I have been in and I was giving him and his wife a bollocking for locking me out of the room. Ended up getting a key off a security guard to get back into the room.

 

[tangaroa]

Classic thread. A well deserved bump.

 

[kinkysleftfoot]

Used to happen all the time when I was in the army, lads used to get moved to other rooms and would wake up and wander off for a piss where they thought the toilet was. I walked out of my barrack room down the hall past the stairwell and into another room and pissed all over a lad who was fast asleep! Strange thing was the same thing happened to him several months later when some one else went for a drunken piss

 

[2sheikhs]

Mine's pretty bad.
I had started brewing my own beer at home. We had arranged to spend the night in Scotland and were going to set off late afternoon. At about lunchtime, I had a quick check on my beer to see how it was doing. Even though it had only spent a couple of days in the fermenting bin it still looked and smelled like proper beer. I'd got too excited and impatient and decided to drink a pint of it. It was fucking rank.
We got to Dumfries in the evening,checked into our B&B and went to the bar for a drink. I started to feel a bit rough and my guts were in knots. I ran to the bogs and projectile vomited all down the cubicle wall and the cistern. When the vomiting stopped, my arsehole started twitching so I had to turn around quickly, drop my pants and let out what can only be described as boiling hot fizzy gravy. After spending about 15 minutes in there, I returned to the bar shaking and sweating and told the mrs I was going to bed because I felt as rough as fuck. She stayed in the bar with my brother and his mrs.
I fell asleep in one of the two single beds but was woken when my wife came into the room. I thought I was going to fart so decided to let it out gently but instead, it was more of the runs. Our room didn't have a bathroom, just a sink and mirror. I went walking around the corridors looking for the bathroom with fuck all on. I found it, made a mess in it and went back to my room. She wouldn't let my get into her single bed with her so I put a clean sheet on the floor and tried to get back to sleep only for my guts to start bubbling up again. I couldn't be arsed going down the corridor again and with it only being rusty water coming out, I stuck my arse in the sink. She started bollocking me because she wanted to use the sink in the morning for a wash and to brush her teeth.
I couldn't bring myself to tell the staff what I'd done so we just made the beds in the morning, paid the bill and fucked off quickly. I was actually ill for about 3 or 4 days.