Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.
 
I sleep pissed in my g/f's knicker drawer :)

She wasn't impressed and three years down the line, she still brings it up.......I think she thinks im ashamed?!........HA!, I just think it's hilarious.

And it would be hilarious if I did it again ;P
 
Dave - never a plant no. Know what you mean about getting away with quite a few because it isnt fully brewed stinky stuff but more light scented water. Aunty and uncles wasnt pleasant as there house is amazing. I knew it must have been me but my brother was also out the night before so we blamed each other and no one knows

Swervin - pure comedy
 
swervin said:
Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.
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Legend.
 
swervin said:
Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.
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Now that's a classic story.

I feel like an Amateur now.

"Fully brewed stinky stuff" - Class
 
swervin said:
Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.
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that story actually made me cry with laughter fuckin nice one
 
Know where you are coming from Swerve.

Went to Tenerife about 12 years ago (johnmc was there) on a lads holiday. One evening we all decide to get a curry delivered to the apartment. So next day we had the waterpark on the agenda, we all get up get taxis to the the waterpark and pay in and we all run off to go on waterever slide of our choice, so me being the big man head straight to the kamikaze or the like. After reaching the summit i get that awful pain in my tummy telling be I am going to have the trots, with 20 seconds I am legging it through oncoming thrillseekers back down the steps I have just walked up in a bid to find the toilets. Safely get to the bottom but don't have long left. So I am walking slowly with a hand pushing each cheek and ask this guy where the toilets are, he thens starts spouting some foreign language and that was it, I was beaten - surrounded by people on sunbeds I followed through into my swimming shorts.

Shortly after I was back in the apartment shitting every 2 minutes.
 
Nice to know I was not the only one djspam, thanks for that. Seriously though I was only 20 at the time I thought is there something wrong with me, am I incontinent or what.....So saying that the look on her face at the time was priceless.
 
swervin said:
Nice to know I was not the only one djspam, thanks for that. Seriously though I was only 20 at the time I thought is there something wrong with me, am I incontinent or what.....So saying that the look on her face at the time was priceless.
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To gain full legendary status you should have gone round telling everyone she shits the bed after you split up.

If you'd stayed with her would you have ever owned up?
 
swervin said:
Nice to know I was not the only one djspam, thanks for that. Seriously though I was only 20 at the time I thought is there something wrong with me, am I incontinent or what.....So saying that the look on her face at the time was priceless.
Click to expand...

I shit meself on the way to work a couple of months back.

Id had beer the night before and tried a power-fart, but just felt hot wetness in my pants.

Squirmed into work into the disabled bogs and peeled my pants off my arse and began the big wipe-up.

Not even in the same league as blaming your g/f though! That's just class.
 
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