Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

although done it myself a few times got to say the funniest one i have ever seen didn't involve me.....thankfully.

was at a wedding when i was in my mid-20's, big posh do in a huge marquee; later on in the evening when everyone is well oiled a bloke had fallen asleep with his head slumped on a table next to us.

Suddenly said bloke stands up, does all the motions of opening an imaginary door, lifting up an imaginary toilet seat, unzips himself and proceeds to do a piss right in the middle of the marquee in front of all present, flushes the imaginary toilet, zips himself up, sits back down and slumps back on table fast asleep.

absolute legend.
 
charliebigspuds said:
one of my mate's was staying at his bird's parent's house whilst her parent's were away. He came home pissed one night and fell asleep on the couch, halfway through the night he got up and had a shite behind the living room door. He didnt even know he'd done it until he was awoken by his screaming girlfriend who had scraped it across the carpet whilst opening the door to get in the room!! it was found out later in the day that he'd also wiped his arse on the curtain's. Remarkably they are married now.
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No they aren't Chaz that was Wolfies ex Julie. She wasn't amused the next time she came in the local with Wolfie when someone put a bog roll on their table in case John was desperate.
 
done the phantom pissing a few times, over the telly, in a drawer full of a mates clothes on the first night of weekend scooter rally- that went down well!
the most public one though was getting woken up by my wife as i was pissing out of the front room window, the windows were 10 ft high box sash windows so i was could be seen full lenth, bollock naked pissing through onto the window sill. not too bad, but i lived on eastbourne sea front at the time.
that didnt go down to well either.
ctid, rob
 
Dave, from a fellow Dave i've many to mention. Your correct though, its 'mans' way of not sleeping in piss, call it natural selection. I do when i piss where i should'nt.
 
i did! but i walked into my mums room, bollock naked, and pissed in there wardrobe! oh i can tell you i have never lived it down!
 
I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.
 
bluemonday said:
I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.
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pmsl have tears in my eyes laughing
 
toby said:
bluemonday said:
I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.
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pmsl have tears in my eyes laughing
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Add me and mrs TB to be that ! tears in eyes that is !
 
quite a few years ago on holiday in spain gang of us round the pool my mate phil has spanish tummy rushes off for a crap , goes to the room rather than use the dissgusting one at poolside , this is the days before swipe cards for keys, goes up in the llift to the room straight in door into bog massive dump smell to go with it, wipes brow looks at toohpaste ect on side wrong fucking room opens bog door bloke asleep on bed sharp fucking exit
 
I have never wet the bed after a heavy night but here is a link for all you that have

<a class="postlink" href="http://WWW.BEDWETTINGABDL.COM" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://WWW.BEDWETTINGABDL.COM</a>

They have their own forum
 
swervin said:
Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.
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I just nearly pissed myself reading that , VERY FUNNY !!
NO ONE WILL BEAT THIS STORY
 
bluemonday said:
I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.
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No offence mate, I know you're only joining in with the spirit of the thread, but that's an Urban Myth.

Keep it real please
 
Not even in the same league as those other two, but I'll share anyway...

Got an invite to a party in Mossley, some girls Parents/siblings had gone away, so there were about 15 of us, and it's about 3 in the morning and were all pissed, and as usual, everyones constantly goin for a piss. SO I went, and as people said, I was very quick (considering they were still waiting for people that went up before me). I then proudly informed them that I'd used the downstairs toilet.
Cue, weird looks and shouts of "GAZ! THERE ISN'T A DOWNSTAIRS TOILET!"
As it happens I'd gone into her dads study and pissed on his printer.

I didn't get invited to her next party.
 
Bout 2 year ago.

I woke up one night after me and the gf had a night on the lash and heard what i thought was the washing machine on and assumed the gf must have stuck some washing on overnight (dunno why, she'd never doen that before!)

Then i realsied she wasnt in bed so i walked into kitchen and she was stood bollock naked holding on to the kitchen sink and just p*ss*n for England. I walked toward her and stepped in it with both feet before i realised what wuz happening.

She couldnt remember a thing next morning............... but my feet stank of p*ss!!!
 
Cheltblue said:
Bout 2 year ago.

I woke up one night after me and the gf had a night on the lash and heard what i thought was the washing machine on and assumed the gf must have stuck some washing on overnight (dunno why, she'd never doen that before!)

Then i realsied she wasnt in bed so i walked into kitchen and she was stood bollock naked holding on to the kitchen sink and just p*ss*n for England. I walked toward her and stepped in it with both feet before i realised what wuz happening.

She couldnt remember a thing next morning............... but my feet stank of p*ss!!!
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Absolutely brilliant, Cheltblue.

You confirmed my belief in the original post that some women must do this.
 
I've never pissed in the bed but i have...

Been woken up at 3am by my wife asking me that if i want to piss out of the window could i please open it first.
Pissed in a mates cupboard only to find out that it was his mums overspill closet.
Woken up at 4am and couldn't get out of the bedroom to get to the toilet so i managed to put a towel on the dressing chair and piss in that before going back to sleep.I know,i could fold a towel but i couldn't find a door handle.
Pissed in my dads shoes.

I have a history...
 
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