Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[happymoondays]

Done it a couple of times

When i first got a place with the missus i had gone to bed bollocked and woke up a few hrs later on settee piss wet through, i had lifted the cushion up like a toilet seat and pissed on it and then slept on the fucker.

on another occasion at a mates house i fell asleep on the settee whilst a party was still in full swing, i woke up to the sound of my mates girlfriend going mad at me, and to my horror i was sqauted over the cat litter tray trying to take dumped, to make things worse that was the first time i had met his girlfriend.

 

[johnmc]

happymoondays you've just reminded me of another one

went up to glasgow to see my cousin who was at uni there. trolleyed on mckewans (sp)

several of us all went to sleep on his floor in a shared flat. however i didnt wake up on the floor. i woke up in a bed and was immediately struck by the samouri swords on the walls when i came round. then there was the army books on the bookshelf. then i noticed the damp duvet.

i'd got up, gone in to his flatmates room, who was a fitness/violence/army fanatic, lagged on his bed and then got in it for the night. the rest of them woke up to a hair dryer being used on the duvet. luckily this guy was away for the weekend.

20 mins on the hair dryer then got out of there pronto.

 

[IFeedGoats]

Johnmc Bluemoons very own serial pisser!

I can see it now "get the plastic sheets out Johns staying over"

keep up the good work ;P

 

[TFC]

Ive done a couple of plants. Not proud of it, but when youve got to go...

 

[johnmc]

Johnmc Bluemoons very own serial pisser!

I can see it now "get the plastic sheets out Johns staying over"

keep up the good work ;P

not even started yet!!!

Travel lodge last year after a wedding. i wake myself up in the corridor banging on the door to my room in just my boxers. i woke several neighbouring people up and said to them all "she is asleep inside and i cant wake her. was there half an hour and someone said go reception which i did in my boxers and asked for my key. the guy, seeing me in my boxers asked for my room number and gave me a swipe card.

took this away and trotted back to my room, over the damp patch, and onto my room. got in there and there are no clothes, no possessions and no girlfriend in the room. confused for a few minutes i walked back into the corridor and was told by someone that my room was further up the corridor - it was never my room and the guy just gave me the key without checking. furthermore, that room would have been my mates but he had complained as when they checked in the beds werent made.

went back to my real room and the door was ajar and i strolled in and went to bed, girlfriend oblivious. until the next morning.

 

[The Invisible_Man]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

Best one.

 

[Greiver]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

Best one.

Agree!

 

[Didsbury Dave]

Pissing my pants laughing here.

This thread is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet.

Good work fellas.

 

[charliebigspuds]

one of my mate's was staying at his bird's parent's house whilst her parent's were away. He came home pissed one night and fell asleep on the couch, halfway through the night he got up and had a shite behind the living room door. He didnt even know he'd done it until he was awoken by his screaming girlfriend who had scraped it across the carpet whilst opening the door to get in the room!! it was found out later in the day that he'd also wiped his arse on the curtain's. Remarkably they are married now.

 

[Didsbury Dave]

That's the thing about the Night Piss.

It's not just about the piss, is it? It's the whole spirit-sapping experience.

You wake up, your head is splitting in two. You're in an incomfy bed, with someone, often female. The light is blaring in and your mouth is like sandpaper.

You always have an uneasy feeling in your stomache. Something's not quite right. Then you are jerked awake by the sight of an ominous dark stain, somewhere it shouldn't be. Invariably in someone elses's house.

And your horrible, hung over, how and I am going to get home self is urgently trying to think fo ways to cover it up. There never is a way. It's bloody obvious what has happened.

Yet you attempt to look baffled and pretend to look for a leak.

To quote The Smiths: "Oh I can laugh but at the time is was terrible"