Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

Watford at home, first game of the season, 3-0 City.

Went to sleep, drunk as a skunk with my girlfriend (now wife), in a bed at my parents house.

Urinated like A Racehorse in said bed, completely soaking me, girlfriend, mattresse, duvet, pillows...

Naked apart from my City top (typical), my girlfriend said “Danny, for God’s sake, what have you done?”

Allegedly I woke up and said ‘oh my God, yeah I forgot’

I promptly got up, walked to the toilet and gave my hands a dam good wash. Toilet trip complete, I promptly curled up and fell asleep at the top of the stairs!

Great days
 
We now have a worldwide fan base . I don't think this thread paints us in a good light......
Personally I find it distasteful and boorish.....
Do you say Ladish? Now?
Please temper our input on this subject ?
 
Went for pints after work one evening on an empty stomach. Numerous pints later got a taxi home and fell asleep as one would. Not long after, I found myself standing in my room, lifting the top of my printer up and proceeding to take a piss on it. Dad stopped me mid flow as he heard the pitter patter of wee on the printer.

Printer destroyed.
 
After the semi final win against the Rags in 2011 went on the piss in London,got on the train out to Romford way and had to get off a stop early as needed a piss,promptly pissed my pants walking off the train and down the platform and outside the station on a side street,it was like a flood,a dam bursting,and once started there was no way of stopping it,luckily nobody was following me off the train to notice the trail..
Feeling embarrassed and hoping there was no cameras to pick up my public order offence,nipped into a local Tesco to buy a pair of trousers and put them on in the changing room and walked another 3 miles back to my uncles house with my piss soaked jeans in a carrier bag and a new pair of trousers on,hoping he wouldn’t notice a change of clothing....definitely sobered me up a bit but I was a very happy man when we beat them that day.
 
WEMBLEY76 said:
After the semi final win against the Rags in 2011 went on the piss in London,got on the train out to Romford way and had to get off a stop early as needed a piss,promptly pissed my pants walking off the train and down the platform and outside the station on a side street,it was like a flood,a dam bursting,and once started there was no way of stopping it,luckily nobody was following me off the train to notice the trail..
Feeling embarrassed and hoping there was no cameras to pick up my public order offence,nipped into a local Tesco to buy a pair of trousers and put them on in the changing room and walked another 3 miles back to my uncles house with my piss soaked jeans in a carrier bag and a new pair of trousers on,hoping he wouldn’t notice a change of clothing....definitely sobered me up a bit but I was a very happy man when we beat them that day.
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Nice one, just having a look thru the classic threads and just thought I'd remind you of this
 
Went to Paris with my ex wife about 8 years ago and got absolutely plastered on cocktails.
We went back to the hotel me smashed as, and she woke me up in a dream piss sleep in the early hours with what are you doing!
My reply was going to the toilet having a piss what else? She goes thats my suitcase! LOL
My straighteners she screams! :-D
Was not a happy bunny, she apparently jumped up to save her stuff and I ended up with her suitcase for my clothes for the way home :/
Got to Manchester Airport and Customs guy pulled me aside asking to open my suitcase :-O I said to him you don't want to do that mate! he goes why? I goes i pissed in it last night! lol
He looked at me puzzled like I was joking but when he realised I wasn't he said go through lol.
 
No, but as the years advance I dread the time coming when I become powerless to stop it, even when sober
 
Nebuchadnezzar said:
Yep, pissed myself last night for the first time whilst drunk/asleep.
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I was going to post in here about this but then realised I already had.

This incident was a bit of a wake up call with regard to my drinking. I did in an entire bottle of Tullamore Dew whisky that night for no reason whatsoever and woke up in the front room in a puddle of my own piss at 7am. I know this is meant to be a comedy thread but this particular incident actually really upset me and I was lucky to escape with just an embarrassing tale to tell.
 
Didsbury Dave said:
Pissed myself at that one.

I've also done one on a makeup ledge too.

I got away with that one. It was put down to a leak or something.

I've got away with a few in the past. They rarely smell because they are full on, crystal clear booze pisses.

My existing wife once called out the plumber, and I let her, in the full knowledge that I had simply pissed all around the bog rather than in it. I think she said she'd noticed this leak a few times before.
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Twice in my adult life, and both times I had been drinking Newcastle brown ale.
Make of that what you will, but I can safely say I will never go to the North East on a holiday
 
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