Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

Never pissed myself, but when I used to drink bitter, if I got drunk on it i would wake up in the middle of the night with my misses shouting at me, normally I was stood at the top of the stairs pissing down the stairs, but a few times I did it in the wardrobe and against the bedroom window - from the inside. Needless to say I don't get drunk on bitter anymore! Doesn't happen if I get drunk on anything else, just bitter!
 
my girlfriend at the time had spent xmas eve carefully and lovingly wrapping up pressies for her family and got an early night while i went out on the piss and stumbled in at god knows what hour so fucked i couldn't climb the stairs and found myself being woken up by her in the morning on the couch asking why all the presents were wet through.
i honestly didn't remember doing it and quite naturally blamed it on the dog.
 
Not drunk but around 20 years ago whilst in high school a lad had a piss in his seat in English. Tried to cover it up by pouring a bottle of coke over himself.

Apparently he had previous for it
 
Mrs J was not happy with me at new year as I had a piss in the washing basket . They are both in the bathroom are white and have lids and I didn't have my specs on :) that's my excuse and am sticking to it
 
Try and keep this brief
Used to play pool and the events were in the Hilton. Two of us shared a room and then a third lad asked if he could kip on the floor at one event to save money - we said yep. Next day I woke up and washed my face - I was about to pick up the white towel - it had brown all over it. We blamed the lad on the floor who admitted he had a tendancy for pissing in wardrobes when drunk no and so accepted he had wiped his arse after a shit on the towel. Inside an hour everyone at the event knew !! (Seemed only fair to tell everyone).
The following month he didn’t stay - meanwhile I played my match and - having lost “under the lights” was a bit hot and went for a shower but first used the towel on my back to dry it a bit. Then I looked at the towel - brown. Caused by a mistake of wearing a brown shirt and sweat (which I had done the previous month). I never let on the truth and to this day he, and everyone else thinks he wiped his arse on the towel.
 

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