Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

Had a leosayer on boddies gold in the Waldorf before the notts county 7-1, afterwards went back to birds halls of residence where I decided it would amuse oneself to let down the tyres on the girl-nextdoors deaf boyfriends bike! Passed out, woke during the night, pissed in wardrobe, got the 'what the fuck....?, muttered some reply, passed out, wasn't overpopular in the morning.
 
I'm a serial offender - I'd agree with DD, it's often when you're in unfamiliar surroundings, and the brain can't do the autopilot thing. I've done the usual - drawers, bins, baths, beds, nothing that hasn't been covered here already. Once did it to a mate's bed. In the morning, I asked for glass of orange juice, then immediately went 'whoops' and poured the whole thing over the pissed area.

A better story is when the missus and I went on the razz with her sister. She got fall-down, messy blocked, and we sent her home in a taxi. Her husband woke up to find her on sat on a big stereo speaker, knickers down in the usual toilet pose, with piss cascading onto the floor like a waterfall.
 
I got slaughtered one night....Awoke the morning after, to a note strapped to my chest reading

"To my darling Alan, had to go to work, but f.y.i. last night you got completely twatted and decided to piss all over the wardrobe, my new clothes and the computer wires...Please clean it up before I get home you dirty twat, love Louise x (still have the letter lol)

My mate did the best 1 though. Apparently his missus had been bashing him about doing the washing...Anyway after a night out he shouted to his bird Meg! How's this for your f'n washin, whipped it out and pissed all over the freshly washed clothes. This story is about 6 or 7 years old now and still makes me laugh!
 
Went to a gig last night and had a few beers.

Wake up this morning and the missus said I was trying to get out of the bedroom to the toilet last night through a full length mirror thats on the wall.

She pointed me in the right direction before any damage was done.
 
johnmc said:
Went to a gig last night and had a few beers.

Wake up this morning and the missus said I was trying to get out of the bedroom to the toilet last night through a full length mirror thats on the wall.

She pointed me in the right direction before any damage was done.
Click to expand...
As near as this thread has come to a 'live report' . Good work John.
 
Was living on my own, after having split from a girlfriend and we decided to sell the flat. So she moved out and I had a couple of months until the sale went through. The pub was 100m away and, left to my own devices, spent a lot of time in there. Made the most of being single, and after the summer was done and the sale was imminent, I started to clear the place. Under the bed were my large padded suitcases - I pulled the first one out to pack and found a pool of liquid on top of it. It was piss, and not fresh either. Quite how I went about my business without ever noticing is a mystery, and I had women staying over as well. And they never mentioned a thing.
The shame of it.
 
Mate of mine pissed himself in the middle of the shamrock bar in Benidorm wearing jeans!

Another beat that by shitting himself in a taxi on the way back from a bar in France!

I need to get some new friends
 
About 30 years ago about eight lads crashed down on my mate's living room floor after an all-dayer. At some point in the night I woke to find one of the lads pissing like a horse all over the family stereo equipment.
 
When I was at uni I (naturally) went on the piss one night. During my drunk sleep, instead of getting out of bed and taking 2 steps to the sink and pissing in there, or even 1 step and pissing out of the open window, I took the 8 or 9 steps all the way across the room, opened my sock drawer, took all my socks out, put some paper in there (?) then pissed all over the paper before closing the drawer and going back to bed.

Woke to to find my socks in a neat pile on the floor and a pool of piss where they should have been.
 
Boarding school back in Ireland in the 70's...too fucking cold to go downstairs to use the bog plus was afraid of the patrolling priests - probably for good reason as it turned out...anyway, I was sleeping in one of those beds that had those hollow tubular legs. I said "Fuck it", popped off one of the plastic caps from the hollow tubular legs, stuck my dick into the hole and pissed away to my hearts content. Stuck the cap back on and did not smell it for the next several months while I slept in that very bed. At least that's what I told myself. ...

Yes I know; not drunken sleep pissing. I was 13. But still worth telling.
 
johnmc said:
Good Lad.

Many many stories about this. I'll start with this one.

Went to a mates house in liverpool for a party, got wasted and went to bed. there was two of us staying in this room and the other guy had locked the door behind him when he had got into his bed. he watched as i got up, walked to the door, felt around the door for a bit, realised it was closed, then did a walk along the wall searching for a way out, you know like trapped in a cave business.

Then, I got to his chest of drawers, promptly opened the top drawer, and proceeded to lag. Only, in the drawers were all sorts of stuff, from tools to digital cameras etc etc. my mate who was awake watching me, made know effort to stop me apparently, and laughed all the way through it!!! It was his fault for locking the door!!
Click to expand...

I can honestly say I have never pissed, shat or being sick in bed. I am having a drink right now, so I could break my duck tonight.
 
I remember as a young lad (long before I knew what being pissed was) being too lazy to walk up to the khazi. So I pissed on the living room coal fire. I thought the heat would dry it Next morning there was mystifying liquid in the fireplace. My Mum and Dad thought the back boiler was leaking. I kept quiet as they scratched their heads over it. Luckily, the truth never came out.
 
I think pissing in the sock drawer is a common one. I also woke up one morning with faint recollections of doing something daft only to realise when I got into the bathroom that the bath was full, (of tap water only). Evidently I had got up in the middle of the night and tried to have a bath, daft.
 
Bladdered at my mate's house at the age of 16. Woke to find sofa I was sleeping on and the jeans I was wearing sodden as hell. Still tried to convince myself that it wasn't piss, insisting that 'it smelled of vanilla', whilst directing my mates to have a sniff.

They didn't, and I spent a good part of the morning washing the cushions then drying them with a hair dryer before his parents came home.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top