Eden, a tart from the start
Eden Hazard is a footballer in demand at the moment and, boy, has he really gone out of his way to put himself in the shop window.
Unfortunately, he appears to think it is one of those windows that you find in the red light district of Amsterdam (or so I'm told).
Hazard has teased and pouted his way through the most embarrassing transfer auction of recent times, smiling beguilingly through the glass at his suitors and making it abundantly clear that he is absolutely and totally committed to whoever happens to be walking past with the largest wallet.
Right now, Hazard is on the verge of accepting a huge money deal from either Chelsea, Manchester United, Manchester City or even - and don't laugh - Arsenal, depending on which paper you read.
City are said to be cooling on the transaction, allegedly because of the outrageous demands being made by agents.
While Arsenal appear to have as much of a chance of signing Hazard as Portsmouth.
But the suggestion kept his publicity machine spinning along regardless.
While there is nothing wrong with the Belgian trying to negotiate the most attractive deal for himself as he exits Lille, the manner in which he has gone about it has undeniably cheapened his appeal.
He broadcast he would reveal his chosen club last weekend, plugging this momentous declaration for all it was worth (which, according to reports, could be anything up to £32million and £200,000 a week).
But it turned out it was another tease and the protracted sale was dragged out a little longer.
Hazard said this week: 'I don't know when I'll make a decision. It will be Manchester City, Manchester United or Chelsea. The decision will depend on the amount of play I would see and the position.'
And the cash, of course.
The danger is that by the time Hazard arrives in the Premier League, everyone will already be heartily sick of him.
There's no guarantee he will be a success either.
For every Didier Drogba that translates success in the French League to these shores, there is a Marouane Chamakh.
When Hazard finally agrees to go somewhere he needn't bother posing with the scarf of his new club, as new players usually do.
He's been such a tart about it all they should just hand him a feather boa.