Embarrassing moments in life

[metalblue]

We have got 9 pages in without a story about shitty underpants splattering on a conservatory roof.

This is a genuine mates story that I’m sure he’d be mortified me sharing here but what are mates for?

He had been out on the lash and was fucked. He’d been desperate for a shit and when the taxi finally pulled up outside his mum and dads house he made a dash for the door, fumbling for the keys he finally gets them in the door but it was too late and he actually shat himself.

He gets the door open and goes upstairs to the bathroom, carefully removing his trousers and undercrackers he managed to perfectly execute their removal and avoid getting any “mess” anywhere. Rightly pleased with himself he took himself off to bed.

The next thing he remembers are his mums screams. It was the next morning and she had gone to the toilet. What my mate had presumed was a perfect execution of removing his clothes and the accompanying poo was anything but. There was literally shit all over the bathroom.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Me and my mates used to have a childish habit of sending each other photos of our shit and rating them. I'd been to Belfast and a girl at work was asking about it, so I gave her my phone to scroll through my photos and her face dropped - she landed on my shit encyclopedia.

I know a forum with a dedicated ‘Shit thread’ specifically to talk about and rate poos. No pics though.

 

[metalblue]

Our family home backs onto Brookdale Park, and has railings like that on two sides of the garden, but sharp not blunt spikes on top on one side. We used to climb over at the corner point, bit of a knack to it, but used it for years.

A new kid moved into the street, and the first time he climbed it, he messed up, slipped and was left dangling as you were, but he was impaled through his forearm, screaming in pain until emergency services arrived.

That’s horrific!

 

[Mr Kobayashi]

I know a forum with a dedicated ‘Shit thread’ specifically to talk about and rate poos. No pics though.

4chan?

 

[journolud]

I was on the match day thread having a meltdown because we hadn't scored after ten minutes and had allowed the opposition to string some passes together and have a long range shot at goal. Imagine my embarrassment when we went on to comfortably win the game. Same thing every week. I also wet the bed regularly.

 

[Barcon]

Our family home backs onto Brookdale Park, and has railings like that on two sides of the garden, but sharp not blunt spikes on top on one side. We used to climb over at the corner point, bit of a knack to it, but used it for years.

A new kid moved into the street, and the first time he climbed it, he messed up, slipped and was left dangling as you were, but he was impaled through his forearm, screaming in pain until emergency services arrived.

Something similar when we were kids. We had a tarzan swing near Brierly ave school in a tree with one of those old, rusty, wrought iron spiked fences under the tree. Long story short, one lad fell off the rope and got impaled on the fence through his taint. I just got a shiver down my spine typing this.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I know a forum with a dedicated ‘Shit thread’ specifically to talk about and rate poos. No pics though.

It also served as a dietary/health advice group amongst friends.

"Curry last night?"
"You're not well mate"
"More fibre needed"

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

I know a forum with a dedicated ‘Shit thread’ specifically to talk about and rate poos. No pics though.

Do you reckon Bluehammer would be up for Bluemoon's Top 100 Logs?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

I was on the match day thread having a meltdown because we hadn't scored after ten minutes and had allowed the opposition to string some passes together and have a long range shot at goal. Imagine my embarrassment when we went on to comfortably win the game. Same thing every week. I also wet the bed regularly.

That's terrible, we've all wet the bed at sometime in our lives but....

 

[Healthcare29]

Worked at local leisure centre Summer Season during my college days in the 80s.
1st year in Sports Dept with a woman of a manager, Linda Gates, 2nd yr moved to Arcade, 1st day working with the new 16 yr old female Cashier, over the tannoy comes can Linda Gates please come to reception, 'oh no is that fucking woman still working here', that's my Mother the Cashier says.........