Embarrassing moments in life

beano46 said:
I was on a footie group on FB, on my mobile, one of the threads was old footie chants that still make you smile, I chose who ate all the pies posting the full lyrics, some how my phone jump to another group I'm in about the history of the area I lived in, the lyrics of said chant landed on a post by shall we say a rather plump, lady but little did I realise until the next day when I saw my notifications and disgusted comments and a pm threatening my removal from the group. I did manage to prove it was a genuine error and apologise to the lady, which thankfully she gracefully accepted.
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You’d have got away with it if you happened to live in Wigan
 
When I was a kid in school I used to jump the fence in the corner of the playground. It was the old black iron fences with the blunt spikes on. This one day I jumped it but my schoolpants got caught on the spike and hooked me. It was right when every fucker had just finished and all the parents were there. I was just swinging left to right like a pig caught in a trap. Everyone walking past laughing. In the end one of the parents who lived over the road had to get some scissors to cut me down after a good 10 minutes of people trying to lift me off. I walked home in my ripped pants and my destroyed reputation. My mum didn't half crack me when I got home and she seen my pants haha
 
Cityzen_89 said:
When I was a kid in school I used to jump the fence in the corner of the playground. It was the old black iron fences with the blunt spikes on. This one day I jumped it but my schoolpants got caught on the spike and hooked me. It was right when every fucker had just finished and all the parents were there. I was just swinging lift to right like a pig caught in a trap. Everyone walking past laughing. In the end one of the parents who live over the road had to get some scissors to cut me down. I walked home in my ripped pants and my destroyed reputation My mum didn't have crack me when I got home and she seen my pants haha
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Better a pair of ripped pants than an x-ray with a fence up your arse though
 
I got caught in a letterbox at Carcraft whilst the wife was in birth with our daughter. The firemen were exemplary in releasing me and I just managed to see her arrival.

The car was in for a service and the garage was closed so after following the ambulance down I decided to kill two birds with one stone and drop it off. So that no one could hook my keys out of their foyer I put my hand inside and threw them but then I could not get my arm back out. I had to yell for help as there were no mobiles back then. Eventually a good Samaritan came to my rescue and alerted the emergency services.
 
Years ago, at College, I had been out for a pint or three at dinner like you do - or did anyway. Got in the lift to go up for the afternoon classes, and just as the door closed a fart slipped out. By the grace of God/luck/whatever it was a silent one. But the stink, fucking hell, it was enough to knock out an elephant. I was glad to get out at our floor, so what it was like for the others I shudder to think.

My mate figured it was me, not least because I was grinning like an ape. He still mentions it from time to time, even though it's nearer fifty years ago than forty.
 
I got my head stuck in the railing at the school right across the street from my house.
All the neighbourhood mums were out buttering and larding up the sides of my head and pulling me every which way.
It was one of those old concrete fences with the vertical concrete that's angled on the front and flat on the back.
Also full of pebbles and jagged concrete. Nearly tore my fucking ears off.
 
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