Brooky, it's gonna end up like this if ones not careful!!
For the purpose of this thread i will name the caller fred Smith, The kebab worker is called Brooky.
Fred has finished work for the weekend and fancies a kebab!!
Fred rings the kebab house.
Jake. Hello,Mr. Smith, Kebab City may i take your order please?
Fred. Oh hello, yes i would like a house special and a portion of fries please,with chilli, garlic mayo and salad please.
Jake. Would that be for delivery?
Fred. Yes please.
Jake. Do you still own the Blue and White Astra with 50,000 on the clock?
Fred. Erm y'y'yes.
Jake. Okay Mr. Smith that will be £44 on delivery please.
Fred. Wwwwwhat the fuk.
Jake. Careful Sir as if i hear anymore of that language i will report you to the language survailance team.
Fred. Sorry, it wont happen again, i was just astounded at the price of my order.
Jake. Well Mr. Smith i see here on my telescreen that you have not attended your weight assessment appointment as you was 7lb over weight last month and we have to cover our insurance. There is always the Sprout and Cauliflower combi, that comes in a fish oil based pitta bread and you can get this at just £8.50, with zero sauce mind you.
Fred. Oh man.
Jake. Are you being resistant and difficult Mr. Smith? as my negative thought detection button on my phone has just lit up.
Fred. No no not at all, everythings great.
Jake. The only thing that i can do is ask you to switch on your telescreen and switch on channel 111, your fitness buddy will instruct you as to what to do next, bye.
Fred switches on the telescreen.
The health Buddy comes on. Okay Mr. Smith, i can get you a discount of upto £10 if you can fulfill my request. Now then, give me 25 proper press ups, 25 sit ups and run on the spot for 5 minutes, just to show me that you can do all these basic disciplines and i can proceed with your request for a kebab.
Fred starts the discipline(s).
Fitness Buddy pipes up rather angrily, get down and do them properly Mr. Smith, i wont tell you again.
Fred completes the programme and eventualy satisfies the Buddy.
He rings back the kebab shop and goes ahead with his order.
Jake. Okay Mr.Smith, we can proceed now, but there is just one more thing, my telescreen is telling me that your wife smoked for 10 years and with all that passive smoking that you have inhaled,we cant risk the cost of insurance increase, so i'm afraid that i'm gonna have to put the £10 back onto your order i'm afraid.
Fred. AAAAARRRGGGHHHH.
Jake. Hello, hello Mr. Smith. Hello.