Fighting your demons - When life holds a gun to your head...

[Big G]

Every negative brings a positive, you gotta believe to recieve though.
I know its easy and shit to say but chin up, think positive, look towards a good future, do you want your parents to die not seeing a mini you running about and growing up?

 

[MCC]

Surely, Trevor Morely, this is a piss take???

If it`s not..... have a can and a fucking wank.

 

[ayrshire_blue]

Can only echo what others have said mate. Keep that chin up even though its difficult. Be strong for your gran. Take your dad for a drink, let him know you're there for him, try and get him having a laugh even in the most difficult of circumstances.

You'll get there mate honest. Every little thing, is gonna be alright...

 

[gazhinio]

Sorry to hear about your problems pal!
Unfortunately, we all have many ups and downs in our lifetime...I sometimes think there are more downs myself but hey-ho!
I had to face up to a gambling addiction over 3 years ago and was not in a good place!
Stopped gambling (to a certain degree!) and have a wonderful baby girl, nice wife, great house etc
Still doesnt stop me feeling down almost every other day and this includes me worrying about other peoples problems (ie family,wife etc)
Good to talk to other people about your problems though, although it sounds like your dad needs specialist advice/help asap!!!!
Good luck young man!

 

[the mystery illness]

Your dad needs you atm, he won't say it but he does, go and see how he is.

only this

definitely this

in time he will be glad he's out of that one

when i was going through a bad time once and splitting with the mother of
my three children (she left us )i couldn't work as the kids were all under 7 , all i had tried to build for my family was going up her hooter , solicitors and the rest , my head was up my arse , my father in law asked me how much the divorce had cost , now i had always worked hard and had property and assets before we got together , so on paper it was a fucking lot.
he looked me dead in the eye and quite unexpectedly said " you know what , give it 5 years and you'll look back and think if it had have cost you double that you got a fucking bargain"

he was right !
life is a ride and very bumpy at times , hold on tight , be strong for all that love you.

look after yourself and your old man mate , life is too precious to throw away
cos of some shallow snake . she will reap what she sows.

 

[Gaylord du Bois]

Your dads reaction seems quite alarming for someone of his background. Maybe there's more to this than you're privvy to.

 

[mammutly]

Might sound a bit strange to some, but what has helped me through is the knowledge that in the end, you're on your own.

 

[Fame Monster]

There's two things you can do:

Option A - Be philosophical. Whilst it's a bad time for you, get some perspective on your situation. Is life really holding a gun to your head? Thinking like that makes you feel sorry for yourself, and I imagine that same thinking is what drove your Dad to do something silly. There are kids in Somalia starving to death, knowing that absolutely nothing is going to change that fact. Or look at it from your Gran's perspective: she won't live till Christmas. You are lucky that you have the ability to take control of your life. What you do with that control is up to you. Maybe you can comfort your Dad, or tell your Mum that you want her to be happy and can understand her decision to divorce in light of that but at the moment she's being unreasonable and cruel and she should make an attempt to console your father.

Or Option B (the one I recommend) - Repress all that emotion. Save it. There's no point in even thinking about the situation. Just distract yourself. You'll only cause yourself harm thinking about your present troubles. Buy an expensive games console and have a relaxing game of Fifa on Xbox live against Real Madrid. Or play Call of Duty in preparation for your job in the army. That will take your mind of it and should stop you expressing any anger or frustration. Then maybe in a few years, when you're in the army or a full-time teacher and some dickhead throws a paper aeroplane at you, simply explode. Go fucking sick at the little bastard. Show him who is boss. That moment of catharsis will be an exhilarating moment in your life and will be a high as much as the present is a low.

 

[talkativesprout]

Shit seems to have hit the fan for a lot of your close ones. Dont feel bad by proxy, its not your fault your gran is ill, its not your fault your mam seems to be a money grabbing whore and its not your fault your dad cant deal with being someone who takes instead of gives.

what as all the shit got to do with you ?

 

[Citizen52]

It doesn't sound like your Dad deserved that at all to be honest (without scratching below the surface). He must be feeling like shit at the moment which makes it all the more important for you to be there for him.

Very sorry to hear about your Gran - all I can say on that is life is cruel at times just try to cherish the time you will have left together it is never easy when things like that happen. Found out a relative had Bowel Cancer a couple of years ago, first thing I did was to go and see his Dog (he was admitted straight in), struggled to digest the news and was all over the place to be honest for a few weeks. I remember when he said to me 'thanks for everything' when he found out he needed a second operation as the join hadn't healed. The way he said it was so final he had accepted it, I couldn't believe how dignified about it and I couldn't stop crying.

Different people have different ways of coping, different mechanisms. Some have suggested taking your mind off things which may work for you.

I know it's probably small consolation but I doubt anyone on the planet hasn't had a few days when things aren't going well or have been dealt a cruel hand - you just have to try to be resilient and carry on because just as good times don't last forever nor do bad ones.