Funniest thing you have heard at a match

Pre season friendly at bury a few years ago. Steve mcmanaman was doing his usual running around pointing everywhere. Some guy stands up behind us and shouts 'fuck off mcmanaman, you should have been a fucking brickie'.

Last derby at maine rd 'gary neville is a blue'

This ones probably been said but when we played southampton 'harry redknapp shit on you' to the tune of amarillo

Last game of the season at coms a few years ago, we beat everton 5-1. Leon osman was warming up infront of me and my brother. Wasnt sure who he was then so looked for his number in the programme and he wasnt listed so i stood up and started singing 'who the fucking hell are you' he gave me the v's behind his back then half the stand stood up and joined in my song. Class!
 
City were playing Oldham in a friendly at their place, a long time ago now. Oldham had Ian Marshall playing for them, who at the time had very long hair. Like a girl's except no-one would ever mistake Marshall for a girl.

One of the City fans near me yelled: 'Hey, Marshall! Take that wig off!'

The teams were just warming up at the time, it was very quiet, and Marshall heard him. He smiled and waved an acknowledgement!

A mate told me one from Bury. They had Leighton James (ex Burnley winger, I think ex England as well) playing for them at the time, and he shirked a tackle.
'Get off James, you big jessie!' shouted one fan.
'Nay, lad, Jesse James could shoot,' said his mate.
Apparently James joined in the laughter.
 
Mine was when i was visiting some relatives in Merthyr, South Wales and after a Friday night on the drink, got invited to go and see Merthyr v Gateshead the following day.

As i was born in Merthyr, i thought why not. I paid my fiver to get in and must have been 1 of 200 people watching. Where we were was this frail old man, decked in Merthyr gear. He tried having a chat with us but we couldnt understand a single word he said. He seemed a nice polite old guy though.

1/2 way through the 1st half the Gateshead winger got the ball near us. he had Samaras Style hair, and the old man shouted in clear to understand language "get a haircut you f'cking girl".

It was so completlt out of character to how he had been it was hilarious.



The Other one was when a friend of mine, a Ipswich fan, invited me to Portman road for a pre season friendly. Cant remember the opposition but i remember they were from a foreign country.
Anyhow, the opposition had thier sponsers not the players name on the back of thier shirts. Now my friend has never been the sharpest tool when it comes to intellect (once talking about Chuck Berry, the legendry blues guitarist and his input was he shouldnt have left eastenders, he was thinking of Nick Berry).

Anyhow we for a laugh pointed out that the opposition all had the same surname. He said no thats the sponsers isnt it?.
I said no, in Italy alot of surnames end with I, ie Maldini, Donadoni and in Bulgaria alot of surnames end in Ov. Petrov, Berbotov etc and in this country most share the same surname.


Nothing else was said, but 1/2 way through the 2nd half he started laughing for no reason. When asked why he said even the sub has the same name. When we told him we were pulling his leg he wouldnt have it and said no your only saying that as u think im thick. Luckily they scored and the announcer mentioned the goalscorers name so he knew the truth
 
Ive got 2:
1. 04/05 season at home to Norwich, a couple of blues behind me and my dad made up this norwich piss take song, and it was superb, but i only properly remember the last bit; '...and im a loyal Norwich fan and I can ride a tractor!', twas hilarious.
2. Everton home game once, the linesman nearest to us was having an absolute mare, and my dad had had enough, and just shouted out 'Your talking with your dick hanging out you stupid ****', got a fair few laughs.
 
several seasons ago at maine road , the heavens opened and the open stand all put on the white hooded macs,looking just like klu klux klan
fella in front of us turned round and said
" fuckin hell ,wanchope and weah have just shat themselves !!"

and years before that , a regular who stood near us on the old kippax used to scream at the top of his voice
"i wouldnt pay this lot in donkeys fuckin danglers !"
 
At MaineRoad a guy kept standing up abusing players coming out with a right load of rubbish, the guy unfortunately had IAN 9 on the back of his shirt. After coming out with constant non sense one fan shouted "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP IAN" the guy was baffled looking around for who shouted it with no luck, he couldnt figure out his name was on his shirt, a few moments later he hurled some more abuse out to which about 20 different fans all shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP IAN" "SIT DOWN IAN" "STOP TALKING SHITE IAN" the guy turned round again slightly embarrassed to about 1000 blues all laughing at him, eventually one fan put him out of his misery by reminding him his name was on his shirt. The man then sat down put his coat on and kept pretty much quiet for the whole game, whilst the "WHATS YOUR OPINION IAN" "TELL EM IAN" "YOUR MUMS ON THE PHONE IAN" comments rained in for the duration. HILARIOUS GAME :)
 
the guy who used to sit infront of me would always instantly shout 'whos on the bench' as the ref blew his whistle for kick off.

wasnt that funny, but i always had a little chuckle
 
great thread this.
one of the best things i've heard was in the late nineties, when down at bottom of division 1 heading for division 2, sheffield utd away, halfway through 1st half sheffield fans start singing " we hate wednesday n' we hate wednesday," moments late city fans start singing " we hate saturdays, we hate saturdays " even in those dark days our humour was 2nd to none.
 
Who remembers the tannoy announcements for stewards about fires? Cant remember it exactly but it was 'mr somebody has entered the building', whole kippax stood up and cheer. About 10mins later ?mr somebody has left the building'. Whole stadium cheered! Fuckin hilarious!
 
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