Funniest thing you have heard at a match

I think it was the 3-3 derby. Me and a few mates were in the Kippax and Ince was doing my F'in head in. Ball goes out for a throw in front of us and Ince trots over to take it. Kippax going mad at him - I shout "Ince your a cnut' but right at that second every other f*cker went quiet, every head turns to look at me, Ince looks right at me mouths "F'Off" and also gives the two fingered salute behind his back. I've never heard such an erruption of abuse being aimed at one player, the whole stand went mad at him and as if we needed winding up, it kept on for the whole match. Best atmosphere I've ever been in!!!
 
LongsightM13 said:
Quite a few here:
* The Fulham fan with bleached hair and a bright pink T-shirt at COMS couple of seasons ago. They only brought a couple of hundred and he stood out a mile. The South Stand lads gave him 'You've only come for the Village'


* Not something heard as much as endured. Years ago, on the old Kippax at maine Road, we were playing a night match against Hull in Div 2 (bananas season I think).
Click to expand...

The Fulham one - particularly funny given the "Who's the pansy in the pink" rendition to last week's Fulham fan in pink. (Who then removed the pink jumper to reveal a white t-shirt and so.."Who's the pansy in the white?" ........ :D

Night game at Maine Road reminds me of when we played such a game against the Owls and we needed a repalcement ball which took AAAAAAAAGES to appear. Sheffield Wednesday fans sang "One ball. You've only got one ball..." :D
 
A few years ago at St James Park, up on level 7, near the back.... It was a miserable day, a miserable game (we were beaten 3-0 and never even looked like trying to play a game of football never mind score.) Everyone in the away end had slumped further and further into apathy.
We'd noticed right at the very back, a woman asking the occasional question of the man with her and I summised that she hadn't been to a game before.
I think we fans had all just about frozen to our seats in utter dejection when she uttered those immortal words "What's offside?"

Cue whole rows of City fans sitting up strighter in their seats and leaning closer with smiles on their faces to hear the reply :D Without a doubt the best bit of an awful game.

(The poor bloke gave up after 3 attempts, btw. )
 
forgot what game it wasbut it was at coms and there was a large group of chinese people here to watch sun. there was someone drunk at the front of them getting them chanting sun jihai and bowing. this went on all game just cant think who it was againest
 
My dad at the 3-1 derby win at maine road,

Forlan was warming up just in front of us

Dad: " Get your hair cut you fucking poof"

Too be fair Forlan had a chuckle himself
 
This one was at Oldham v Port Vale and they were losing 1-0 with about 2 minutes left

Anyway this poor young ball boy was sat there, the keeper was wasting time and not retrieveing the ball.

So the Oldham Fans start giving this kid shit loads of abuse. (mind you he wasn't the thinnest kid in the world)

Just calling him a fat ****, a prick fatty the usual. So finally when the ball got retrieved chants of "you fat bastard" echoed the chaddy end.

The poor lad was in tears haha
 
Wolves game this season, finally took the bird to her first match. Everyone starts singing Blue Moon, as they often do on these occasions. She joins in and gets as far as "Blue Moon..... Oh I don't know the words to this one!"

I could've crawled under the seat and died.
 
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