Funniest thing you have heard at a match

[Blue Dan]

Sat in my mates seat last season, an old guy who was hillarious shouting random shite throught the game at one point he goes " wing it fcuking wing it" the ball then went infield and the man shouted "you should have fcuking wung it" to which his son said calm down dad, and what the fuck is a wung??

I miss him.

 

[Bilston Blue]

At home to Walsall about ten years ago in the North Stand at Maine Road... future one cap wonder Michael Ricketts was Walsall's star player at the time and he proceeded to miss a sitter... a geezer a couple of rows back stands up and shouts at the top of his voice...

'RICKETTS, RICKETTS, I'D RATHER HAVE F***IN SCURVY.' Very funny at the time.

 

[madsmcfc]

We had some random woman next to us at Fulham a few seasons ago singing "City, City, the best team in the land and on the moon!" :S

 

[MCFC BOB]

I sit in the family stand (ok, sorry if we're quiet) - but there was a woman who sat behind me last season. every game, "oh flip, oh flip, bloody clear it!" - it got annoying.... very annoying.
and one game she came out with something i ahd to run away at because i laughed so hard...
as the ball flew towards our goal, dunne headed it away? down onto the floor abut 5 yards from our goal. and she shouted..

"SHINE ON MY MOTHER, MARY!"....

at which point a small 6/7 year old boy turns round and tells her to shut up.

 

[BlueMooney]

Against Arsenal in the league cup a few years back:

Every time Thatcher got the ball, a fella behind me would stand up with a betting slip in his hand and shout: "GO ON BEN THATCHER AT 33-1."

 

[targo]

I remember at an Alty match, Jack Taylor, the famous ref, was one of the linesmen. The ball went out for a throw-in near where I was stood at the side of the pitch. The player taking the throw had the ball behind his head on the touchline, but kept trying to steal some yards to get closer to the goal.
Jack Taylor said to him "Come on son, I don't go that far for me holidays!"

 

[Corky]

After getting beat against Forest, "sack Hughes, bring in Cassell".

 

[chanceathefarpost]

Middlesbrough away when Robson needed uncle Terry to help him out a few years ago. City fans were singing:

Robson put the kettle on,
Robson put the kettle on,
Robson put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea!!!!

Shame, he was such a nice guy...............................

 

[1966Blue]

Newcastle away about 7 years ago with my Missus at her first away game, I think we were in ther first division and it was a cup game and Distan had left the Magpies to join us.

She asks......How do the City fans know that Distan hates strawberries............

'Sylvan Distan is a blue, he hates GEORDIES'.....just PMSL thinking about it..

 

[warpig]

right at the start of a game, literally 1 second after the ball had been kicked off, this fella behind me stood up and shouted at the top of his voice "come on city, this is fucking shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhite". still makes me chuckle now.