Funniest thing you have heard at a match

[St Helens Blue (Exiled)]

Mate of mine during Merlins second game.

"Fuck me,he is way to light weight-we may as well have signed Long John Silver instead"!!!

Don't worry-I still give it him loads to this day!

 

[InMyLifetime-BaconChops]

At Charlton, and I think it was Dunne who was trying to give his shirt to a disabled person at the end of the match, but the steward wasn't letting him.
So this man behind me started yelling his head off shouting 'THICK, THICK' to the steward. Can still picture veins popping out of his head yelling to this day...

 

[Colliahhh]

Against Lisbon this year, after they were a few up and were wasting time with every opportunity.
The ball went out near the halfway line and gets hoofed back in to the middle of the pitch allowing the Lisbon players to arse about in getting it back for a throw in.
A fella behind me shouts 'For fucks sake, even our ball boys are shit!' Everyone starts laughing at him to this blokes bemusement, until someone explains to him it was Dzeko who hoofed it back into play from the sidelines.

 

[Manchester_City_Blue]

Random one heard at the community shield. Bloke behind us shouts to Ashley Cole. "Oi Ashley! You aren't a choc ice you're a magnum!"

 

[i8rags]

Used to sit in the old Maine stand, there was a bloke every game when we kicked off who used to shout "blow the final whistle" loud as he could.
Also in the days of Richard Edgehill same fella used to shout "Edgehill for England" every time it was quiet, always got a laugh out of me.

 

[alibee73]

PUSH UP, PUSH UP! Kippax, early 80`s

 

[94th Minute]

Not at at a football ground but about football, went the England v Australia odi a couple of years back at old trafford. It was the same day england played Germany in the world cup. Got chatting to two city fans who were sat in front of us as one had a radio listening out for the score. Bloke 1 informs everyone Germany have scored, bloke 2 replies this is how it went.

Bloke 1: Germany have scored

Bloke 2: Who scored?

Bloke 1: Klose

[Bloke 2 leans right into Bloke 1's face]

Bloke 2: Who scored?


Was so simple, had me pissing meself for a good ten minutes

 

[inthenextlife]

Guy behind me at Anfield shouted at the ref: "I hope you die of a heart attack in front of your wife and kids on Christmas Day". It was original, I'll give him that.

 

[Colliahhh]

'Buy another one!'

Shouted in 308 today at Hughes when Ferdinand was rolling around for 5 mins.

 

[FORZA CITY]

Around the early 00's I was at Luton v Peterborough on the opening day of whatever season is was. Peterborough took the lead after about 30 seconds. After the celebrations had died down the whole away end was jumping up and down chanting "WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE SAY WE ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE"... 10/10 for quick thinking.