Genuine, Genuine Question...

Keep up the good work with University too. That can provide a welcome distraction, plus you never know who you may meet there! I failed my first year due to a double whammy of family bereavements, both of my Nannas died within 5 months of each other. I was living at home, so life wasn't great and it was really hard to see both of my parents in a bad way. Everyone in that year of Uni was a total fucking arsehole, never met so many backstabbing bastards in my life.

As mentioned, I failed that year quite badly. During the summer I was stuck in a shite job at the local Spar, getting bollocked every day for shit I didn't do (new guy syndrome I guess). I was left with the choice of staying in that job for the foreseeable future or going back to Uni and restarting the year. I know its a no brainer but I was scared to go back, my confidence was absolutely ruined and I worried that people would think I was thick. I got a few snidey texts from 'mates' that summer, questioning my ability to pass.

I chose to go back, and i'm now in my third year. I'm also engaged to a lovely girl that I met in my failed first year, the one decent person. Had our ups and downs on the way, but it happens. What i'm trying to say, is that even when you feel shit and like nothing is worth it, you HAVE to keep going. Even if it hurts or frightens you. Because it will get better eventually.
 
Thats just it Fred, my revolving social door has struck again at Uni.

I'm like the thing that society likes to reject.
 
To be honest with you mate I think 90% + of students are funny bastards. Dunno about where you go, but I stayed in Manchester and its quite hard to break into a clique of people who all live together. A lot of the original people I met were all like that. Got my nose pushed out of a few things too. Its not what you or I do wrong. Second time round I attached myself to local students only, my mates on the course now are from Stockport/Oldham/Salford.
 
Seosa said:
Thats just it Fred, my revolving social door has struck again at Uni.

I'm like the thing that society likes to reject.
Click to expand...

Fuck em, Seosa.
You are there to learn and set yourself up for the rest of your life, not make friends and break into "cliques". You will never see or hear from most of the fuckers once you leave Uni any way.
 
Yaya_Tony said:
I should have gone to bed hours ago, but I wanted to read to the end.

Some fantastic posts here, I have emailed the entire thread to one particular person I know who I think would benefit from reading them.

I can totally sympathise with you too Seosa. Life for me wasn't easy up until 20 for reasons not neccesary to go into here. At 20 I found out I had my first daughter on the way, I was terrified. I had no real qualifications after decent GCSE, no steady job, no home, well into drugs. People said it would be the making of me.

I thought that was a turning point, and worked really hard to make sure things were set up for when the baby came. I managed to arrange a flat for us before the baby was born, worked in a McDonald's equivalent for 2 years to keep it going and had just secured a much better job with good prospects when the mother walked. I was gutted.

The mother was living with her parents, and I had an empty flat. I chucked the job, blagged my way onto a Uni course and moved into student accomodation. The big plus of this was I lived within walking distance of the mother's parents, and could see my by now 2 yr old often.

I didn't take the study seriously and I drank heavily during that time. I was contracted to the job I'd chucked previously, and had to travel a good distance to a different site to work part time or I would end up owing them money I didn't have.

By the time I'd done my time and quit the company for good, I was too far behind to catch up and had to move out of the student accomodation. I found a temp job with no end date, and moved into my own place again. I placed myself between my family and the baby, location wise, but miles away from both. I didn't realise how isolated I would be at the time. At the time I thought it was another corner turned and I was really happy with myself.

The job didn't last though, and I ended up back at my mum's 8 months later, unemployed, miles away from my daughter, and again drinking heavily. I'd spend 2/3 days with my daughter at the mother's parents, and end up drinking cans on the bus on the way back to my mum's. This was the biggest low and it lasted for almost 3 years.

It came to a head with a huge argument with my mum. I spent the night in a cell. I knew things couldn't continue as they had been. I spoke frankly to my daughter's mother, and we sorted a few things out that we should had done years ago.

Now, I've been in continuous employment with prospects for 3 years (very modest wage though), had our own place again for 2 and a half. Got a car, and a second daughter. My eldest is in a good school and we live near family. There is a lot of love in our home.

The point of me typing all this is because like a few others noticed too, it takes people hitting rock bottom to actually do something about it. I don't think I will ever be as low as I was 3 years ago. I felt utterly useless. I wasn't being a good daddy, I was a shit son, I was in a word a disgrace. No-one's rock bottom will be the same as someone else's. Mine holds no comparison to SBF's for example, I was a lot more self indulgent than him, SBF's was out of his control.

Life is pretty good now, long may it continue. I made it like that.

There is a bigger picture outside our planet which I like to think about and have no control over, there is the future of our Earth to ponder, but my reality is making sure I can provide what my family need. That is what makes my life worthwhile, and I think also why I was so depressed when I wasn't doing it.
Click to expand...

Amazing stuff. Like they say, success is just the act of getting up one more time than you fall. Think that is very apt in your case.
 
Im hijacking again but i think it might help

since posting my particular problems in a way to help and reading the full thread it has triggered something in me...ive been awake all night soul searching and ive reached a decision
i have a 3 bedroomed house that i have been fighting to keep for 17 years and for what??? im single, no kids, no car as i cant afford insurance, never been abroad on holiday blah blah
so sell up and start again
it does feel like a scary prospect as its the only house ive ever lived in but if i sell i will be debt free, £350 a month better off and 15k in the bank
could 17 years of pain and near suicide be so easy to change? i dont know but surely worth a try? I have no friends really anymore as they are all married etc and i cant make anymore as i cant afford a social life, but with money in my pocket maybe all that will change. Money isn't the route of happiness i know but in my case it would be a welcome bonus.
im 35 this May and reading the 7 year change certainly helped the decision and with some quick finger counting (which is easy for me as im from lincolnshire so the extra fingers speed it up) 7 goes into 35...so maybe this is my year?

I think what im getting at is that from Seosa having the courage to start this thread and other sincere posters posting their problems it has kind of acted as "group therapy" and helped me.
Seosa I know i said it in an earlier post but i really would recommend talking to people as who knows what will come out of it
 
racingeye said:
Im hijacking again but i think it might help

since posting my particular problems in a way to help and reading the full thread it has triggered something in me...ive been awake all night soul searching and ive reached a decision
i have a 3 bedroomed house that i have been fighting to keep for 17 years and for what??? im single, no kids, no car as i cant afford insurance, never been abroad on holiday blah blah
so sell up and start again
it does feel like a scary prospect as its the only house ive ever lived in but if i sell i will be debt free, £350 a month better off and 15k in the bank
could 17 years of pain and near suicide be so easy to change? i dont know but surely worth a try? I have no friends really anymore as they are all married etc and i cant make anymore as i cant afford a social life, but with money in my pocket maybe all that will change. Money isn't the route of happiness i know but in my case it would be a welcome bonus.
im 35 this May and reading the 7 year change certainly helped the decision and with some quick finger counting (which is easy for me as im from lincolnshire so the extra fingers speed it up) 7 goes into 35...so maybe this is my year?

I think what im getting at is that from Seosa having the courage to start this thread and other sincere posters posting their problems it has kind of acted as "group therapy" and helped me.
Seosa I know i said it in an earlier post but i really would recommend talking to people as who knows what will come out of it
Click to expand...

What a brave decision!
Good luck, you sound really positive and I'm sure this is the start of something good...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.