Graham Thorpe RIP

[Churchlawtonblue]

Very sad news. And well said BrianW.

 

[Gabriel]

Such a terrible shame. So much accomplished and yet so much still to live for.

 

[Gray]

Another example of how depression - which 'isn't real you know' - can be fatal. Poor man.

Trust me, it is very real. I have both seen it and experienced it. Never dismiss it. And if you are experiencing it, do not shrug it off. Seek help.

A great sportsman, gone way, way before his time.

Never having suffered from depression I have no idea how it effects a person.

I always feel that somebody who commits suicide is a tad selfish and has not really considered what it will mean to those they leave behind.

Thorpie was a real battler on the cricket field it is a great shame he couldn't manage it when he no longer played.

My thoughts are with those he left behind.

 

[Betterdeedthan red]

Never having suffered from depression I have no idea how it effects a person.

I always feel that somebody who commits suicide is a tad selfish and has not really considered what it will mean to those they leave behind.

Thorpie was a real battler on the cricket field it is a great shame he couldn't manage it when he no longer played.

My thoughts are with those he left behind.

I lost a very close friend to suicide some years ago.
It still breaks my heart today.
I thought he was selfish.
Until I imagined the pain he must have been in to think that was the only way out.

 

[BrianW]

Never having suffered from depression I have no idea how it effects a person.

I always feel that somebody who commits suicide is a tad selfish and has not really considered what it will mean to those they leave behind.

Thorpie was a real battler on the cricket field it is a great shame he couldn't manage it when he no longer played.

My thoughts are with those he left behind.

To be honest, if you haven't had depression you will struggle to understand it.

I am pretty good with words, but I can't describe how you feel when you have bad depression. It's impossible to describe. A feeling of extreme worthlessness is the nearest I can get. You tend to think everyone else would be better off without you. And by the way, no one ever thinks: 'I know. I think I'll be clinically depressed today.' It just comes over you, like any other illness. Frequently it creeps up, which is why close relatives/friends often see it before you do yourself.

The other thing is, it never goes away. You think it has, but it sneaks up on you again assiduously. If you are in 'remission' like I am, you have to be constantly on your guard. You have to fight it while it's trivial because if you let it get severe it's potentially a hospital job at best. I have learned strategies to repel it, but it's a lifelong fight.

 

[Gray]

To be honest, if you haven't had depression you will struggle to understand it.

I am pretty good with words, but I can't describe how you feel when you have bad depression. It's impossible to describe. A feeling of extreme worthlessness is the nearest I can get. You tend to think everyone else would be better off without you. And by the way, no one ever thinks: 'I know. I think I'll be clinically depressed today.' It just comes over you, like any other illness. Frequently it creeps up, which is why close relatives/friends often see it before you do yourself.

The other thing is, it never goes away. You think it has, but it sneaks up on you again assiduously. If you are in 'remission' like I am, you have to be constantly on your guard. You have to fight it while it's trivial because if you let it get severe it's potentially a hospital job at best. I have learned strategies to repel it, but it's a lifelong fight.

Keep going mate, we are all behind you.

 

[Nightmare Walking]

To be honest, if you haven't had depression you will struggle to understand it.

I am pretty good with words, but I can't describe how you feel when you have bad depression. It's impossible to describe. A feeling of extreme worthlessness is the nearest I can get. You tend to think everyone else would be better off without you. And by the way, no one ever thinks: 'I know. I think I'll be clinically depressed today.' It just comes over you, like any other illness. Frequently it creeps up, which is why close relatives/friends often see it before you do yourself.

The other thing is, it never goes away. You think it has, but it sneaks up on you again assiduously. If you are in 'remission' like I am, you have to be constantly on your guard. You have to fight it while it's trivial because if you let it get severe it's potentially a hospital job at best. I have learned strategies to repel it, but it's a lifelong fight.

Steve Harmison just nailed it. Depression is not a weakness, it's an illness.

 

[Stephen230]

Never having suffered from depression I have no idea how it effects a person.

I always feel that somebody who commits suicide is a tad selfish and has not really considered what it will mean to those they leave behind.

Thorpie was a real battler on the cricket field it is a great shame he couldn't manage it when he no longer played.

My thoughts are with those he left behind.

There is a common theme amongst people who survived suicide attempts, when asked about this ‘selfish ‘ angle.

They almost universally answer that they genuinely thought they would be doing their loved ones a favour by removing themselves from their lives. In fact, it is often cited as the number one factor in their decision to end it all.

Impossible for most of us to understand that thinking. But I guess that’s why most of us never reach that stage.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

To be honest, if you haven't had depression you will struggle to understand it.

I am pretty good with words, but I can't describe how you feel when you have bad depression. It's impossible to describe. A feeling of extreme worthlessness is the nearest I can get. You tend to think everyone else would be better off without you. And by the way, no one ever thinks: 'I know. I think I'll be clinically depressed today.' It just comes over you, like any other illness. Frequently it creeps up, which is why close relatives/friends often see it before you do yourself.

The other thing is, it never goes away. You think it has, but it sneaks up on you again assiduously. If you are in 'remission' like I am, you have to be constantly on your guard. You have to fight it while it's trivial because if you let it get severe it's potentially a hospital job at best. I have learned strategies to repel it, but it's a lifelong fight.

I attempted suicide about 18 years ago. It was brought on by my ex Mrs walking out with my 2 gitls aged 8 and 2. I started drinking heavily to help to blank out my feelings and help me sleep because I needed to sleep as I was grafting 50 to 60 hours week as a mobile telecoms rigger.

I carried on grafting and at weekends my girls stayed at my house. They meant everything to me and I devoted my free time to them. Football fishing and mates took a back seat but ever week I dropped them off at their mum's I drove away with tears streaming down my face. I remember driving to London one Monday morning and was dwelling on my sad life and the waterworks came on. My mate asked if I was OK and I said I had a cold as I didn't want to open up and tell him for fear of feeling embarrassed and a failure of being a proper dad.

One day I felt rock bottom and was near to my £3600 overdraft limit, although I'd already twice been over it when my card failed at the petrol station and supermarket. I climbed up the tower(as usual) and thought "fuck it I've had enough"!

I unhooked my lanyard clips from the steelwork and sat teetering on the edge on a 2" steel beam looking at where I would land. I counted down from 10 and was going to jump when I got to zero. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2.... At that point someone in my head shouted "get back inside the tower and clip on you selfish bastard"! I turned round and threw a clip onto steelwork and dragged myself back to safety shaking and gasping for breath.

The voice in my head saved my life because I'd already made my mind up to jump, was a very weird experience and I thought of leaving my girls family and friends behind, I did feel selfish but not at the time of thinking of ending it all.

I managed to get off alcohol and get back in the black in my bank account and concentrate on moving on which I did generally but I never wanted to be a part time dad, plus I still loved my ex Mrs dearly.

Hindsight is great afterwards but no fuckin ' use whatever at the time you need a bit of wisdom. If you ever feel down don't bottle it like I did, open your heart to someone you can trust and confide in. I told my doctor who suggested counselling which I refused, wish I hadn't tbh, would have helped me move on and sort my head out.

But hey ho, I'm still here battling on but some days aren't easy, even nowadays...

 

[RobMCFC]

I attempted suicide about 18 years ago. It was brought on by my ex Mrs walking out with my 2 gitls aged 8 and 2. I started drinking heavily to help to blank out my feelings and help me sleep because I needed to sleep as I was grafting 50 to 60 hours week as a mobile telecoms rigger.

I carried on grafting and at weekends my girls stayed at my house. They meant everything to me and I devoted my free time to them. Football fishing and mates took a back seat but ever week I dropped them off at their mum's I drove away with tears streaming down my face. I remember driving to London one Monday morning and was dwelling on my sad life and the waterworks came on. My mate asked if I was OK and I said I had a cold as I didn't want to open up and tell him for fear of feeling embarrassed and a failure of being a proper dad.

One day I felt rock bottom and was near to my £3600 overdraft limit, although I'd already twice been over it when my card failed at the petrol station and supermarket. I climbed up the tower(as usual) and thought "fuck it I've had enough"!

I unhooked my lanyard clips from the steelwork and sat teetering on the edge on a 2" steel beam looking at where I would land. I counted down from 10 and was going to jump when I got to zero. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2.... At that point someone in my head shouted "get back inside the tower and clip on you selfish bastard"! I turned round and threw a clip onto steelwork and dragged myself back to safety shaking and gasping for breath.

The voice in my head saved my life because I'd already made my mind up to jump, was a very weird experience and I thought of leaving my girls family and friends behind, I did feel selfish but not at the time of thinking of ending it all.

I managed to get off alcohol and get back in the black in my bank account and concentrate on moving on which I did generally but I never wanted to be a part time dad, plus I still loved my ex Mrs dearly.

Hindsight is great afterwards but no fuckin ' use whatever at the time you need a bit of wisdom. If you ever feel down don't bottle it like I did, open your heart to someone you can trust and confide in. I told my doctor who suggested counselling which I refused, wish I hadn't tbh, would have helped me move on and sort my head out.

But hey ho, I'm still here battling on but some days aren't easy, even nowadays...

That's incredibly power reading that, mate. You've probably articulated with a fine example what most of us will never understand.

Well done for coming through it. I'd like to think that you sit here today believing that you made the right decision.