Great sayings..

[Barcon]

It's enough to make a Shepherd throw down his crook and fuck his favorite lamb

My Uncle Price was banned from Christmas dinners for saying that at the table.

 

[Bill Walker]

My gran used to say that I was ‘thicker than two short planks’
WTF?

You had a very motivating granny I see :)
The common expression was 'as thick as two short planks' thought you were obviously less intelligent than that hahaha

 

[Bill Walker]

My Uncle Price was banned from Christmas dinners for saying that at the table.

Happy Canadia day mate.

 

[Barcon]

Happy Canadia day mate.

Cheers nim. Fireworks off the CN tower at 10pm. You can watch online if you want.

 

[Stoned Rose]

A man is looking at a photograph of someone:-
If I have no brothers and sisters then my father's son can only be me. Which means I am that man's father.

Nope I'm still not getting it.

 

[Plays By Sense Of Smell]

Mad as a box of frogs

Once had a fried that everyone called ‘box’ but no-one would tell her why. (Was this reason).
And an ex work colleague whose nickname was (as he thought) ‘Biggun’, but was apparently actually short among his dept for ‘Big ‘n Thick’. Not surprised that nobody told him - he was massive!

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Where there's muck there's brass.

 

[Big Swifty]

Once had a fried

A fried what? Egg? Fish?

 

[Stoned Rose]

Michael Owen is a massive bellend.

Used by millions this one.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

What a **** I am.

 

[Sid C]

Where there's muck there's brass.

A mucky bit of brass?

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

A mucky bit of brass?

Dirty anal is extra.

So a friend said; )

 

[Blue Til Death]

Man with hands in pockets feels cocky all day...!

 

[Blue Til Death]

If all brides are beautiful, where the fuck do ugly wives come from..??

 

[Tommy_Catons_Perm]

Nope I'm still not getting it.

A man while looking at a photograph said, "Brothers and sisters have I none. That man's father is my father's son." Who was the person in the photograph?

1. Who is my father's son? Answer. Me.
2. Who is the father of the man in the photograph?. Answer. Me.
3. Who is the man in the photograph? Answer. My son.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Man with hands in pockets feels cocky all day...!

@snorky will report this to the mods as soon as he reads it; )

 

[snorky]

@snorky will report this to the mods as soon as he reads it; )

Reported.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Reported.

Ok maggot dick.

 

[snorky]

Ok maggot dick.

I am upright and sniffing the air, thanks for asking, arseface.

 

[SWPISHOME]

If I ever asked me Dad anything he’d always say “ I don’t know ask yer mother” anything to do with time or distance “how longs a piece of string”

whereas me mum would say “it’s not up to me you’d better ask yer father”

Or "you just wait until your father comes home!" Shitting yourself for the day praying he doesn't come home from work after doing something wrong:)