how was your day?

[CarlosTevez'sEnglishTutor]

Up early and went for a walk 5 ish with the missus , young lady in tears at bus stop and ended up back at ours till a friend picked her up.
Couple of hours work
Deep tissue massage , ouch !
Cleared out loft and bedroom
Darts
Nodded off watching shit film
Back on the darts
I’ve had better Saturdays

Well done for helping that young lady out. Most people would have just walked past.

 

[Blue Mist]

Well done for helping that young lady out. Most people would have just walked past.

What about me ? I was walking down the road when a little old lady stopped me and asked if I could see her across the road. I told her my eye sight was near perfect so I'm sure I would be able to.

 

[metalblue]

she sent me a message last night,
suggesting we meet today.
i asked her what for,
to have a game of cards?

my dick, thanks to you, is slathered in sudocrem.
it looks like a whole salted cod.
what use is it to you?
and anyway, i'm supposed to avoid erections.

i'm having to throw away my underpants,
because they stink like a hospital ward.
i'm embarrassed to stand in queues of any sort,
because of the sudocrem odour emanating from my groin.

it's a good job i didn't perform fellatio on you.
my research tells me i'd've got oral thrush,
which, seemingly,
is a lot more difficult to get shut of.

she said she has been thinking about a future together.
she really likes me and is planning a divorce.
i said i'd read that once a woman gets thrush below her bush
she is susceptible to reoccurrences
and although little cal will make a full recovery
i have no desire to replicate this episode.
people on the internet are laughing at me.
i would rather you don't contact me again.

i wonder if i was a little harsh on her.
she really is very nice and all that,
but for the first time in my life
i've been compromised downstairs.

She sounds like a keeper.

 

[Blue Mist]

This Thrush, did you catch it off black bird whilst drinking Kestrel lager after robin the Eagle pub ?



Yes, I'm bored.

 

[abu13]

In the word of the great Kevin Bloody Wilson.

I've had an absolute c**t of a day.

 

[Mr Kobayashi]

It's your own fault. You should have been able to smell her yeasty fanny and swerved it.

Try salty baths, this usually clears up jock itch.

 

[Blue Mist]

Pipe cleaners

 

[stonerblue]

fucking shit

 

[Blue Mist]

fucking shit

Yes but apart from that ?

 

[give it to gordon]

I work for the council and the allotments sheds were broken into last night. As we arrived on site I was meet by a scouser moaning about being broken into. I had to really hold back the laughter. A scouser moaning about being on the receiving on their main trade lol

So it's been a good day