If you think of it, staunchly not believing in any religion is itself a religion.
A religion is not necessarily attached to a god (such as the Abrahamic religions) or many gods (such as hinduism, paganism, there are many). Atheism even existed in the olden days as religion itself. Greeks who disbelieved in god(s) yet cling on to the words of Homer, is what you are exhibiting now by clinging to the words of George Carlin. Religion is belief, and it doesn't take a god figure to validate it. Atheism has been the bread and butter of civilization, but was never propelled to its heights that it is now becoming because there were simply no 'holy book' (or unholy / antiholy book?) to ascribe its teaching. But we all know its doctrines. 1. There is no god. 2. Everything can be explained with knowledge. 3. Mono and polytheity is the heresy of this belief. It has its own set of unwritten tenets, that people in this thread expresses. You believe religion is absurd for example. These were not derived naturally from birth, but influenced by your exposures to what is atheism and the atheist construct in the media.
George Carlin is literally your version of a prophet :)