Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'd probably agree, but as the choice was made by Patrick, he obviously thinks it is.
Who are we to argue with the gods of mirth?
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Joke of the day
- Thread starter ColinBellsjockstrap
- Start date
I'd probably agree, but as the choice was made by Patrick, he obviously thinks it is.
Who are we to argue with the gods of mirth?
dobingsdobber
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 19 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 3,358
Two local newspapers did reviews of "A Tale of Two Cities".
It was the Bicester Times and it was the Worcester Times.
It was the Bicester Times and it was the Worcester Times.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Two local newspapers did reviews of "A Tale of Two Cities".
It was the Bicester Times and it was the Worcester Times.
Excellent!
Don't drink it myself but its certainly popular.The fault with this joke is that Guinness isn't the finest brew ever it's not even the best stout ever.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Back in the day Prince Charles is on a world tour and at this time visiting Lesotho. When he goes to visit the prime minister, he is wearing a Davy Crocket hat complete with tail down the back.
The prime minister greets him but is intrigued by his unusual dress so asks him politely “Your Highness, it is so good to meet with you, but may I ask, why are you wearing a fur hat complete with tail in the middle of summer?”
The prince replies “Just before I left England, I went to visit Mummy and she asked me where I would be going on the tour. I mentioned Namibia and South Africa, and when I said my next stop would be Maseru, Lesotho, she said “Wear the Fox Hat! “, So, I did.”
The prime minister greets him but is intrigued by his unusual dress so asks him politely “Your Highness, it is so good to meet with you, but may I ask, why are you wearing a fur hat complete with tail in the middle of summer?”
The prince replies “Just before I left England, I went to visit Mummy and she asked me where I would be going on the tour. I mentioned Namibia and South Africa, and when I said my next stop would be Maseru, Lesotho, she said “Wear the Fox Hat! “, So, I did.”
It used to be Princess Margaret visiting Manchester back when Tony Hancock was a lad.Back in the day Prince Charles is on a world tour and at this time visiting Lesotho. When he goes to visit the prime minister, he is wearing a Davy Crocket hat complete with tail down the back.
The prime minister greets him but is intrigued by his unusual dress so asks him politely “Your Highness, it is so good to meet with you, but may I ask, why are you wearing a fur hat complete with tail in the middle of summer?”
The prince replies “Just before I left England, I went to visit Mummy and she asked me where I would be going on the tour. I mentioned Namibia and South Africa, and when I said my next stop would be Maseru, Lesotho, she said “Wear the Fox Hat! “, So, I did.”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
It used to be Princess Margaret visiting Manchester back when Tony Hancock was a lad.
There's no such thing as a new joke mate! Just old ones resurrected and 'tweaked' to fit the modern audience.
That's why I can't stand any of the 'edgy' comedians we've had to tolerate for the last 40 years or so, telling 'stories' rather than actual jokes.
Living 'real' comedy legends are very thin on the ground now.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches...
"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!""Really?"
"Yes! A leopard! In England!"
The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was of course much faster than me."
The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."
"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.
"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."
"That's nice "
"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms..."
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Very poor. Even by your standards.A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches...
"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"
"Really?"
"Yes! A leopard! In England!"
The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was of course much faster than me."
The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."
"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.
"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."
"That's nice "
"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms..."