Joke of the Week!

whats the different between a united fan and a vibrator?

A: man united fans are real dicks
 
shaundickov said:
What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Stevie wonder in concert in Tokyo.He asks audience for requests.
Old jap at front asks for a jazz chord.
SW plays a 15min jazz rendition bringing the house down!


"Play a jazz chord" shouts the old jap.SW plays another superb jazz medley.
"Play a jazz chord"shouts old jap again!
"If you are so clever,you come and play!"shouts SW
Jap graps the mic........

















"A jazz chord to say i ruv you..."



I'll get me coat..................taxi!
 
A man and his missus were shopping in ASDA when the bloke spotted a special offer....12 cans of Stella for a tenner.
He picked up a pack and placed them in the trolley. His wife immediately removed them, saying "They cost ten pounds. That's far too expensive" and she put them back on the shelf.
In the next aisle she picked up a £25.00 jar of face cream and placed it in the trolley. Her husband said "Hey, hang on a minute, that's far too fcukin' dear."
The woman said "But it helps to make me look beautiful."
To which he replied
"So do twelve cans of Stella....... but at less than half the fcukin' price!"
 
Why are womens feet so small?
So they can stand nearer the sink.

Why has a women never stood on the moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
 

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