Joke of the Week!

[Biggsy1]

Don't you hate it when your driving along and you flick a cigarette out of the window, and you drive a couple more miles and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and sure enough, Grandma's fingering herself again!

 

[Zuriblue]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...

 

[tueartsboots]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...

Quality PMSL

 

[der-bomber]

Why did Hitler cross the road.....




To get to the genocide.

 

[Biggsy1]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...

What happened to the dog?

 

[bigduncan]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The Gestapo.

The gestapo who?

Ve vil ask the qvestions.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

A little boy who can't reach the bell!!!!!

 

[bigduncan]

you are locked in a room with a rag, a lion and a grizzly bear, you have a gun with 2 bullets, who do you shoot to survive?








































































the rag - twice

 

[meldrew]

Why did the boy fall off the swing?






Because he had no arms!

 

[Biggsy1]

Paddy says to murphy, "Why do scuba divers fall into the water backwards" to which Murphy replies "Well if they fell forward they would still be in the boat you thick cnut"!

 

[theboyfrombrazil]

Paddy and his missus having been lying in bed for hours listening to next doors dog barking.
Paddy looks at the clock; 3.30a.m.
"Right! feck this!" screams Paddy, leaps out of bed and storms downstairs.

10 minutes later he comes back to bed.
"Jayzus Paddy", says the wife, "you've not done anything stupid have you?"
"I've put the fecker in our garden" sez Paddy. "Let's see how they like it!"


I'll get me coat.....................