Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
East Level 2
Well-Known Member
Clever reference to Bridge of Sighs. - Great album by Robin Trower.
crazyg
Well-Known Member
Yes. Nearly missed it when I visited Venice. So tiny.
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Too bloody right. It's about time I got an HMG apology for surviving all the shit that I've had to put up with. That fuckin' heatwave drove me to Scotland for a bit of a cool down and then I was eaten by magicpole's mates, the fuckin' midges. I want an apology from Wee Jimmy Sturgeon for being bitten by Scottish midges that hadn't been fed since the last Scottish famine!
There's one over the Ashton Canal - well, I sighed when I missed my footing on the last step! It's the one by the Peak Forest as it meets Portland Basin.
bluethrunthru
Well-Known Member
PMSL
JRockBlues
Well-Known Member
An attractive young lady lived in a place with a small garden plot behind. Her neighbour, an elderly gentleman, did likewise. However, his tomatoes were always much redder than hers, so she asked him what his secret was. He decided to have a little fun with her, so he said, “Early in the morning I go out in my bathrobe and expose myself to the tomatoes and that makes them blush red”. She decided to try that herself. A week later he asked her how her tomatoes were doing. She said, “The tomatoes haven’t changed but you should see my courgettes!”
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Sheriff Fatman
Well-Known Member
Is he with the Charlton brothers?
SnakeDoctor473
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Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed at the size of it.
The first hunter says, “Wow, that’s some hole; I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?”
The second hunter says,” I don’t know. Let’s throw somethin’ down there, listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
The first hunter says, “Hey, there’s an old automobile transmission over there. Give me a hand, we’ll throw it in and see.”
So they pick it up and carry it over and count one, two, three and heave it in the hole. They are standing there listening, looking over the edge, when they hear a rustling behind them. As they turn around, they see a goat come crashing through the underbrush, run up to the hole and, without hesitation, jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there staring at each other in amazement, peering into the hole, trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer saunters up.
“Say there,” says the farmer, “You fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you ?”
The first hunter says, “Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ bout a hunnert miles an hour and jumped . . .headfirst into this here hole!!”
The old farmer said, “Naw, that’s impossible . .. I had him chained to a transmission.”
The first hunter says, “Wow, that’s some hole; I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?”
The second hunter says,” I don’t know. Let’s throw somethin’ down there, listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
The first hunter says, “Hey, there’s an old automobile transmission over there. Give me a hand, we’ll throw it in and see.”
So they pick it up and carry it over and count one, two, three and heave it in the hole. They are standing there listening, looking over the edge, when they hear a rustling behind them. As they turn around, they see a goat come crashing through the underbrush, run up to the hole and, without hesitation, jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there staring at each other in amazement, peering into the hole, trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer saunters up.
“Say there,” says the farmer, “You fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you ?”
The first hunter says, “Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ bout a hunnert miles an hour and jumped . . .headfirst into this here hole!!”
The old farmer said, “Naw, that’s impossible . .. I had him chained to a transmission.”