Joke thread

BELLENDER said:
When I was about 9 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a friend of his, someone who I didn't even know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the time to pass.
Then a man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life son, be happy because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy it.'
Then he passed his hand over my head and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.
When I looked in the coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had spoken to me!
I was so traumatized I couldn't sleep properly.
I had terrible nightmares. I was terrified of being alone.
I couldn't sleep without a night light for many years.
I saw many psychologists, endured much turmoil throughout my adolescent years.
It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear.
Years later, I discovered something incredible that changed my life.
The dead bastard had a twin.
Click to expand...
Your dad opened a coffin?
 
J.G.Blue. said:
Three frogs went on holiday together & stopped the first night in a hotel,
To keep comfortable one frog slept in the damp sink, one frog slept in the bath with a bit of water & one frog slept in the toilet,
In the morning they all compared there nights sleep & both the frog that slept in the sink & the frog that slept in the bath were pleased with there accommodation but sadly the frog that slept in the toilet said he was not happy because while he was asleep it started raining then seconds later a log fell on him.
Click to expand...
thats shit
 
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