Yuck
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Was stuck on a clue, “postman’s bag” I said to my mate, “how many letters?” Fucking hundreds of them.I was sitting in the pub doing a Crossword when I turned to my Scottish mate @Blue Mist and said."I'm stuck on one.
’Stranded On An Island’, eight letters."
"Marooned" He said.
”About fucking time" I replied. "I'll have a lager."
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,582
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Jock cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, "Licence and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Glasgow cop says, "Ye dinnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Glasgow cop says, "Ye still dinnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please"
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living sh*t out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Jock cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!
Glasgow cop says, "Licence and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Glasgow cop says, "Ye dinnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Glasgow cop says, "Ye still dinnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please"
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living sh*t out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"
dobingsdobber
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 19 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 3,317
What's the difference between a dashing cavalry officer and a flatulent beer-delivery man?Whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo….
The cavalry officer darts into the fray
Work the next bit out for yourselves.
cinnamon
Well-Known Member
olly-1-mcfc
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 Aug 2018
- Messages
- 102
Now that took a minuteWhich Icelandic Singer was named after a city in England? Was it:
A.Norwich.
B.York.
C. Leeds.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
She looks and sounds like she's from NorwichWhich Icelandic Singer was named after a city in England? Was it:
A.Norwich.
B.York.
C. Leeds.