Ricster
Well-Known Member
People who have Bluetooth handsets need a clip round the ear.
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Went to a fancy dress shop for a vampire costume and the girl behind the counter gave me a man united kit. I said, "sorry luv, you must have misheard me, I said I wanted to look like a Count"!<br /><br />-- Sat Oct 29, 2011 7:28 am --<br /><br />Daffy Duck calls the hotel desk & asks for a condom. They ask "Shall we put it on your bill" he says "are u thucking thupid I'll thuffocate!"
2bluegp
Well-Known Member
Vincent Tabak is a big fan of U2. His favourite album is throttle & hump
is it too soon?
is it too soon?
2bluegp said:Vincent Tabak is a big fan of U2. His favourite album is throttle & hump
is it too soon?[/quote
sigh
A
A
Anonymous
Guest
MADCHESTER CITY said:It's one of the 'Your Mum' jokes;
Your mama's so thick that she climbed over a glass wall just to see what was on the other side
-- Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:03 pm --
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
It's one of the 'Your Mum' jokes;
Your mama's so thick that she climbed over a glass wall just to see what was on the other side
Or, your mum is so fat, every time she turns around it's her birthday lol
Sparkys-Army
Well-Known Member
You get arrested by a female police officer and she reads your rights:
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."
You say: "Boobs".
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."
You say: "Boobs".
Hooked up with a girl with OCD last nite. She told me she was obsessed with doing everything alphabetically. So first we did it Anal, then she gave me a Blowjob, then I licked her Clit, and then I took her Doggie style. Then I got up and got dressed. She shouted, "What about E.?" I said, "I've done E sweetheart, I've Ejaculated." Now I'm doin F, G, and H..... Fucking Going Home<br /><br />-- Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:51 pm --<br /><br />What's 6" long and won't be getting sucked tonight???
Jimmy Saville's cigar.
Jimmy Saville's cigar.
gaudinho's stolen car
Well-Known Member
What does Josef Fritzl like to do at Hallowe'en? Pump kin.
themadinventor said:MADCHESTER CITY said:It's one of the 'Your Mum' jokes;
Your mama's so thick that she climbed over a glass wall just to see what was on the other side
-- Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:03 pm --
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
It's one of the 'Your Mum' jokes;
Your mama's so thick that she climbed over a glass wall just to see what was on the other side
Or, your mum is so fat, every time she turns around it's her birthday lol
Your mum is that fat,greenpeace have to look after her.