Joke thread

[mammutly]

What's the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?

The taste

 

[BackofJeanette]

An old man gets on a bus but there are no seats so he leans on his walking stick the bus brakes and he slips.a young lad says.mister.if you had a rubber on the end of your stick that wouldnt have happend!

The old man replies.if your dad had taken the same advice id have a fuckin seat

 

[unexpected item]

I handed in my notice at the helium balloon factory.

I was sick of my boss...

No-one talks to me in that voice.

 

[pudge]

Margret Thatcher dead, United beaten...mind if I have a good think about my last wish Mr Genie.

 

[pudge]

[bigimg]http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/744927/80902408.jpg[/bigimg]

 

[mammutly]

^ virus?

 

[Ethan23]

I took a girl home from a club last night.

As we got inside my house I said, "You'll be walking funny tomorrow."

"Ooooooh" she smiled, "Have a big cock do we?"

I locked the door and said, "No, I'm going to cut off your feet."

This shouldn't have made me laugh

 

[mrcunny]

rod stewarts been asked to sing at margaret thatchers funeral....but 'wake up maggie' might not be everyones favorite

 

[BELLENDER]

Grandad: quick hide,your teacher is hear about you wagging school!
Kid: no you hide,I told her you were dead!

 

[KrazyKeeper]

How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark talking about how good the old one was