Shamelessly stolen from Pistonheads, sorry if already posted, but this one really made me chuckle:
Bloke's walking along minding his own business when a funny-looking chap jumps out from behind a bush and says 'Remember Sean Connery!' before disappearing down the street.
Later that day the bloke looks out of his front window and sees the same funny-looking chap, who shouts out at him 'Remember Sean Connery!!' then scarpers around the corner.
'Right' our hero thinks, 'I've just about had enough of this' and storms off down the police station where he tells the desk sergeant that he's being stalked by a funny-looking chap.
Copper goes 'Can you give me a description?' and the bloke replies 'Well, he reminds me of Sean Connery'.