Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
woodieMCFC
Well-Known Member
mrcunny said:
Hahahahaha
happy daze
Well-Known Member
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.
"May I ask you a question my Lord?"
"Go ahead Carson" said his Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on"
"What word is that?" said his Lordship. "Aplomb" my Lord.
"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self assurance or complete composure" "Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused".
"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us."
"I remember the occasion very well , my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."
"Also", continued the Earl of Grantham, " do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"
"I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs"
"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply" Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."
"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate, even though it was extremely tender."
"Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening." "The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Will with a loud voice,"
"Darling does your prick still throb?
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee! Now that is aplomb!
"May I ask you a question my Lord?"
"Go ahead Carson" said his Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on"
"What word is that?" said his Lordship. "Aplomb" my Lord.
"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self assurance or complete composure" "Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused".
"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us."
"I remember the occasion very well , my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."
"Also", continued the Earl of Grantham, " do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"
"I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs"
"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply" Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."
"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate, even though it was extremely tender."
"Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening." "The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Will with a loud voice,"
"Darling does your prick still throb?
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee! Now that is aplomb!
Zuriblue
Well-Known Member
Pain makes you stronger
Tears make you braver
Heartache makes you wiser
And Vodka makes you forget all that shit.
Tears make you braver
Heartache makes you wiser
And Vodka makes you forget all that shit.
pfazz
Well-Known Member
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rPosiN5FmoU" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... PosiN5FmoU</a>
jimharri
Moderator
The 3 women in Ohio held captive for 10 years have been interviewed live on CNN news. All 3 had the same question ....
Have Arsenal won anything yet?
Have Arsenal won anything yet?
Bluemoon dan
Well-Known Member
hertsblue said:
Oh my god! I shouldn't have but I laughed.