Joke thread

johnnytapia said:
I know!
Click to expand...
Was actually watching him live on TV when he died. With my dad and my brother. I must have been about 12. He was on brilliant form that night. And when he first fell over (collapsed) we thought it was part of the act. Took about 20 seconds to realise something was seriously wrong.
 
Huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barman looks up and notices these massive muscles n body of a temple, but the man has the head size of an orange.
The Barman pours the beer and hands him it… he says sorry I’m not being rude, but how come you have this massive body but such a small head?

Man says let me explain - I was out for a walk in the forest one day, when this frog popped out of the stream and says, "if you kiss me now, I will grant you 3 wishes".
The man looks around and kisses the frog, the frog turns into this beautiful blonde lady who is naked.
The lady says, now you have three wishes… the man says "I wish to have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger".. next thing poof he has the body of him.

The man couldn’t believe that this happened, so he said my next wish is to make love to you right here right now, the lady lies down and beckons him and they make love for hours.
Once they had finished they are lying cuddling and the lady whispers in his ear "remember that you have one more wish I can grant you" ... the man has a think for a while and says well how about a little head…..
 
I just came out a Greggs there with a steak bake, a cheese n onion pastie, two Yum Yums an Empire biscuit and a latte.

A wee homeless guy sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.”

I said to him, “I wish a had your will power pal!
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
Was actually watching him live on TV when he died. With my dad and my brother. I must have been about 12. He was on brilliant form that night. And when he first fell over (collapsed) we thought it was part of the act. Took about 20 seconds to realise something was seriously wrong.
Click to expand...
Same here. I was 11 years old watching with Mum, Dad and brother. I can picture it like it was yesterday.

Bloke was a comedy genius.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top