Joke thread

[ray21]

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[johnny crossan]

My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read a thing.

Some chap in the Middle East has found a way of converting landmines into prayer mats and marketing them. Apparently, prophets are going through the roof.

Employer -we're going to be doing random drug testing today.
Employee -OK, but I'm not trying crack.

 

[A57 the snake]

I was at my GP’s today, I told him I think I’ve got pig flu ? He asked how long have the symptoms been ? I replied about six weeeeeeks

 

[A57 the snake]

I was at the GP’s today I told him I think I’m going deaf ? He said what are the symptoms ?
I said it’s a yellow cartoon family what’s that got to do with anything?

 

[KS55]

I was at the GP’s today I told him I think I’m going deaf ? He said what are the symptoms ?
I said it’s a yellow cartoon family what’s that got to do with anything?

Half past parsnips.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

I was at the GP’s today I told him I think I’m going deaf ? He said what are the symptoms ?
I said it’s a yellow cartoon family what’s that got to do with anything?

It's Tuesday

 

[Lavinda Past]

I was at the GP’s today I told him I think I’m going deaf ? He said what are the symptoms ?
I said it’s a yellow cartoon family what’s that got to do with anything?

I've left my bike outside

 

[Lavinda Past]

...

 

[SkyBlueFlux]

I just accepted a new role, heading up the operations of Old Macdonald’s Farm.

I’m the CIEIO.

 

[JRockBlues]