Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

...

 

[Sam Armstrong]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

Is the man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray a seasoned veteran?

 

[hammocity]

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

Is the man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray a seasoned veteran?

Massive Furniture Sale, no point unless you have a massive house

Rubbish Removals, why? Just get someone who is good at it

What’s an occasional table the rest of the time?

 

[mancboy]

View attachment 105612

i think its more like this when women have to admit they are wrong and apologize


cos its never fecking happened.

 

[meltonblue]

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three pints of Guinness.He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.When he finished all three, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.

The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.

Just after New Year's Day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January!"

 

[Hertzblue]

i think its more like this when women have to admit they are wrong and apologize

View attachment 105650
cos its never fecking happened.

 

[blue44]

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three pints of Guinness.He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.When he finished all three, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.

The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.

Just after New Year's Day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January!"

You had me there
worth a like!

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]