Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Three men on a boat full of orphans.

One is French, the second is English and the third one is a Priest.

The boat is sinking...

The French guy runs all over the place screaming "Sauvons les enfants! Sauvons les enfants" (Save the children).

So the English guy says : What? Pffff! Fuck the children!!

So the the Priest says: Uh? You think we have enough time?

 

[dronefromsector7G]

My girlfriend is only 3 foot, I'm nuts over her.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Jazzman]

View attachment 119930

The rocky road off course.

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Mid Wales blue]

A catholic priest and a Protestant priest live at opposite ends of the town. Each morning they wave “hello” to each other as they cycle to their churches. One morning, the catholic priest is walking.
The Protestant stops and asks:
“Why are you walking this morning?”
“My bicycle has been stolen. I am sure that one of my congregation has stolen it. But I don’t know how to find out who it is, and get it back”
The Protestant says:
“There is an easy way. Use shame. On Sunday, give a sermon about the Ten Commandments. When you get to “Though shalt not steal”, emphasise it. pause, stare at the congregation. Whoever it was, will be ashamed and return your bicycle”
“Brilliant idea! Thank you!”
On Monday, the Protestant priest is cycling to his church, and the catholic president is back on his bicycle, going to his church.
“Good morning! I see you got your bike back! Did you use my idea?”
“Yes, I gave a sermon like you suggested”
“Great! So when you got to though shalt not steal, you stared them down?”
“Not quite... I got to “though shalt not commit adultery” and I remembered where I had left it!”

Outside the chip shop, no doubt!