Joke thread

A sergeant in the Scots guard walked into the pharmacy, got out his wallet, and pulled out an old used condom with a hole in it.

He asked the chemist how much it would be to repair it.

"Well, we don't do that often but I have a glue and could patch it for 7 euros.

The sergeant asked "how much for a replacement?" "10 euros"

He walked away to think about it, returning later and says, "the men and I have decided to buy a new one"
 
Paddy is in court. and after an eight hour trial he pleads guilty. The judge says, ''Why didn't you plead guilty at first and save the court all this time? ''Paddy says, ''I thought I was innocent until I heard all the evidence!''
That guy Paddy sounds like a right thick.
Where was he from?

I met a bloke from Australia who worked in I.T
I asked him "Do you come from a LAN down under?"
 

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