Joke thread

[r.soleofsalford]

I took Mrs Lavinda to Blackpool and bought her a fur coat. However, I didn't realise it was made of hamster skins.

I couldn't get her off the Big Wheel for two days.

Fur coat and no knickers. You know the rules.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Had a row with my boss at lunchtime.

It's one of the perks of working near a boating lake.
.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I got an unexpected letter from the British Origami club today...

I don't know what to make of it.

 

[DrBlueBob]

Had a row with my boss at lunchtime.

It's one of the perks of working near a boating lake.
.

Come in no 99, your time's up.

We don't have a no 99.

66, everything ok out there?

 

[jimharri]

I took Mrs Lavinda to Blackpool and bought her a fur coat. However, I didn't realise it was made of hamster skins.

I couldn't get her off the Big Wheel for two days.

I was half expecting a "stick of Blackpool rock" gag.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I went to the barber's for a haircut today, and asked if I could have it cut like Tom Cruise.

He put a board and big cushion across the arms of the chair...

 

[Blue Mist]

I went to the doctors this morning and told him of my recurring dreams about Bambi, Cinderella and Snow White.
He said I was suffering from Disney spells.

Lavinda mate, you really need to give it a res......
Oh wait

 

[Blue Mist]

I went to the barber's for a haircut today, and asked if I could have it cut like Tom Cruise.

He put a board and big cushion across the arms of the chair...

I went to my barbers and asked him for a Tom Cruise haircut.

He completely shaved my head. I said "WTF, Tom Cruise doesn't look like this'

The barber replied 'he does if he comes in here mate.

Wot ! You started it.

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]