Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

A little Irish boy is crying at the side of the road. A man asks "what's wrong??", the boy says, "Me ma is dead",

"Oh bejaysus", the man says, "Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you??"

The boy replies, "No tanks mister, Sex is the last ting on me moind at the moment."

 

[KS55]

I took Mrs Lavinda to Blackpool and bought her a fur coat. However, I didn't realise it was made of hamster skins.

I couldn't get her off the Big Wheel for two days.

I took Mrs KS there. She went on the helter skelter. She went down at a fair lick.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

I arrived early at the restaurant last night.

“Do you mind waiting for a bit?” the manager asked.

“Not at all” I replied.

“Good, take these drinks to table 9″

.

That got a smirk.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[KS55]

True story:
It is said that sex while pregnant can trigger labour. Worked in our case!

 

[Lavinda Past]

True story:
It is said that sex while pregnant can trigger labour. Worked in our case!

I have a break for my tea and look what happens...

KS55 starts a party political broadcast.

(For a full list of parties standing in your area, please check local press)

 

[Tuearts right boot]

True story:
It is said that sex while pregnant can trigger labour. Worked in our case!

Ìd rather have the tried and tested 6 pints and a chicken jafrezi

 

[Lavinda Past]

Ìd rather have the tried and tested 6 pints and a chicken jafrezi

I went for a curry the other day and got some terrible news.

My naan had slipped into a korma.

 

[Lavinda Past]

What's the difference between black-eyed peas and chickpeas?

The black-eyed peas can sing us a song but the chickpeas can only hummus one