Joke thread

[LWashington]

"Get yourself dressed up love," I said to my missus, "it's two courses for a tenner today."

"Great, I'm starving" she replied.

"What are you on about?" I said, "I need you to carry my golf clubs."

Don't let her start swinging, as she might became a hooker.

 

[Lavinda Past]

My father’s answer to everything was alcohol.

He didn’t drink, he was just shit at quizzes

 

[Lavinda Past]

Bought an old ceramic vase decorated with Chinese Erotica. Might be valuable.

Could be Minge Dynasty.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Without googling....Can you name six women footballers?

Without googling... Can you name six atomic elements from the periodic table?

See, you're probably closer to being a scientist than you thought...

 

[citizen_maine]

Without googling....Can you name six women footballers?

Without googling... Can you name six atomic elements from the periodic table?

See, you're probably closer to being a scientist than you thought...

or closer to being a woman

 

[ray21]

.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I was orphaned at a young age and raised by a pack of hyenas.

No toys, no posh house, facing starvation, scouring for food, but boy, did we have some laughs.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I asked the Colonel what the lowest rank in the army was.

He said, "It's Private."

I said, "Come on, you can tell me."

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]