Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
2smokinberyls smockfrocks
Well-Known Member
when i was a kid at school my english teacher got annoyed with me for messing about in her stupid class.
with anger in her voice she pointed and shouted,
"beryl, name two pronouns!"
i said, "who, me?"
with anger in her voice she pointed and shouted,
"beryl, name two pronouns!"
i said, "who, me?"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
The doctor was talking to the husband of a woman in a coma.
“The nurses that were giving her a sponge bath noticed that there was a response in the monitor whenever her crotch was touched. Sounds crazy but maybe some oral sex is what will help bring her out of her coma.”
The husband was sceptical, but they assured him they’d close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.
After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined. No pulse, no heart rate, nothing. The doctor and nurses ran to the room.
The husband, who was standing beside his wife’s bed pulling up his pants, said, “Erm... I think she choked.”
“The nurses that were giving her a sponge bath noticed that there was a response in the monitor whenever her crotch was touched. Sounds crazy but maybe some oral sex is what will help bring her out of her coma.”
The husband was sceptical, but they assured him they’d close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife’s room.
After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flatlined. No pulse, no heart rate, nothing. The doctor and nurses ran to the room.
The husband, who was standing beside his wife’s bed pulling up his pants, said, “Erm... I think she choked.”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Married couple discussing erectile disfunction with a surgeon. "Well medication is not helping so we would have to operate. You have 3 options"
"We can do reconstruction of your pubococcygeus muscle.
Level 1 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a month. That costs £10,000.
Level 2 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a week. That costs £20,000.
Level 3 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a day. That costs £30,000.
I'll pop out for some coffee give you both some time to decide next steps"
20 minutes later he came back to the office. "How you two getting on, decided yet?"
Husband. "Yes, we have decided to get a new kitchen"
"We can do reconstruction of your pubococcygeus muscle.
Level 1 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a month. That costs £10,000.
Level 2 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a week. That costs £20,000.
Level 3 surgery will enable you to get 1 erection a day. That costs £30,000.
I'll pop out for some coffee give you both some time to decide next steps"
20 minutes later he came back to the office. "How you two getting on, decided yet?"
Husband. "Yes, we have decided to get a new kitchen"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A visit to an antique shop will not turn you gay
but it may make you buy curios.
but it may make you buy curios.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I used to have a teacher called Miss Turtle...
Weird name I know but she tortoise well
Weird name I know but she tortoise well
Michelle?
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aid in for repair.
I've heard nothing since.
I've heard nothing since.
