Joke thread

1.618034 said:
Before anyone else tries to "improve" any of the Fringe winning jokes...


1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. Mark Simmons

2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back. Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful. Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it. Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes. Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? Chelsea Birkby

8. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had. Zoë Coombs Marr

9. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth

10. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. Sophie Duker
Click to expand...
No one on here should ever call Lavvy and his jokes. If that is top ten jokes from professional comedians, number 10 being absolutely stupid, then Lavvy should win the Fringe.

(If randomly downloaded jokes from the internet are allowed in Edinburgh)
 
Blue Mist said:
No one on here should ever call Lavvy and his jokes. If that is top ten jokes from professional comedians, number 10 being absolutely stupid, then Lavvy should win the Fringe.

(If randomly downloaded jokes from the internet are allowed in Edinburgh)
Click to expand...

I've never claimed to be the owner of jokes... don't shoot the messenger.
 
1.618034 said:
Before anyone else tries to "improve" any of the Fringe winning jokes...


1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. Mark Simmons

2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back. Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful. Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it. Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes. Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? Chelsea Birkby

8. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had. Zoë Coombs Marr

9. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth

10. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. Sophie Duker
Click to expand...
so where are the jokes?
 
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