Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Have you heard about the cyclops twins who were born blind...?

Neither have eye.

 

[goalmole]

so where are the jokes?

You're in the wrong thread if it's jokes you're looking for.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Blue Mist]

Here's one to make Lavinda proud.

Tommy Cooper...... now there's a name to conjour with.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Here's one to make Lavinda proud.

Tommy Cooper...... now there's a name to conjour with.

Black Beauty.... He's a dark horse

 

[Grassland Blue]

Her 4th wedding

An 88-year-old was being interviewed on the local news station after getting married for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman said. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She told him she’d first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster in her 40s, later on a preacher in her 60s, and now the funeral director.

The interviewer asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and said, “One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.”

Groan!

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

View attachment 128964

Surely Labour are gonna have a Christmas in each season! Just give 'em enough time to rob everyone and then they tell us when we get back a penny in the pound it's just like Christmas.

 

[Grassland Blue]

How do you lure a fat girl into bed?






A piece of cake......

 

[Lavinda Past]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex…

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!

 

[Lavinda Past]

Do you like Dickens?

I don’t know... I've never been to one.


Do you like Kipling?

I don’t know,... I've never kippled.