jimharri
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Anyone use the "few days' break; I hear Brighton is hard to beat" gag since the weekend?
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
GortonBlue62
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105 for now. At least until they realize 'these are really good seats, let's make 'em corporate'. Then it might be time to look at the new North Stand.
Usually in the West Stand for the girls.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A dictator is badly wounded in an assassination attempt and sent to the emergency room.
The dictator's body doubles are all gathered in a room together to see if he'll pull through. After all, if he dies, they'll have to find new jobs.
After a few hours, the body doubles' boss, a high-ranking member of the dictator's intelligence agency, walks in. He says: "I just got off the phone with the hospital and I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that El Supremo will make it. The bad news is that his left arm had to be amputated."
The dictator's body doubles are all gathered in a room together to see if he'll pull through. After all, if he dies, they'll have to find new jobs.
After a few hours, the body doubles' boss, a high-ranking member of the dictator's intelligence agency, walks in. He says: "I just got off the phone with the hospital and I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that El Supremo will make it. The bad news is that his left arm had to be amputated."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I went to the Doctor today with a suspicious-looking mole.
He said they all look that way and I should have left it in the garden.
He said they all look that way and I should have left it in the garden.
TinFoilHat
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- Manchester City
Lavinda Past
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I went to a new restaurant and when I sat down for dinner, the waiter said, “Would you like to hear today’s special?”
I said, “Yes please”
The waiter responded: "Today is special."
I said, “Yes please”
The waiter responded: "Today is special."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "Don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially if you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite!"
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "Don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially if you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite!"
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
Lavinda Past
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Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Alan Harper's Tash
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