Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Bill Walker]

Capital letters are important. There's a big difference between I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse and I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:38 - Realised watch was broken.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I visited Amazon Prime to view carry on luggage.

It wasn't the film I expected.

 

[Lavinda Past]

"I got sent an article on child mortality rates in India. Let me tell you, that wasn't an easy read."

"Because of the terrible poverty and living conditions?"

"No... It was in Sanskrit."

 

[Lavinda Past]

I told an anecdote in the pub about a bucket on the end of a rope that was used to collect drinking water from under the ground.

It went down well.

 

[Lavinda Past]

"Do you have pets?"

"Yes, a goldfish"

"Any hobbies?

"Yeah, he loves swimming"