Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

"I met a girl when I was travelling on the west coast of India."

"Goa?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yeah, she banged like a rocket."

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My lad's going to University on a Cuppa Soup making course...

He's doing a Bachelors Degree

 

[blue44]

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

1958 dob? You’re a mere strippling.
PS Really old guys rule.

Yeah, we're gonna have to come up with another acronym. I suggest POC - prehistoric. Or BDOC - Bovril drinkin'!

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

View attachment 133432

That has just delivered my loudest laugh of the day!

 

[mrcunny]

Electric cars .....the truth as I see it
I'm fed up with comments from people
ridiculing EVs. They don't know what
they're talking about.
Personally, I drive two top of the range
EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche.
Their acceleration and handling is
fantastic. They look brilliant and
they're really cheap to run. They need
hardly any maintenance and haven't
depreciated since I bought them.
Literally the only criticism I could make
of them is sometimes, if I really push
them into a corner, they can fly off the
track and get stuck under the sofa...

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

I got test results back from my Doctor today and he said it looks like I'll never work again.

"What's wrong with me?" I said.

"Nothing" he replied, "You're a lazy ****."

 

[Lavinda Past]

I failed my application to get onto The Chase.

Q. Who won the first Tour De France

Apparently the 42nd Panzer Regiment was incorrect.