Joke thread

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Big Swifty]

I called the number on a missing cat poster today and said, "I think I've just found your cat Thomas."

"Really?" screamed the owner, "Is he white?"

"Yes."

"Brilliant, are his two front paws black?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, does he have a black tip on the end of his tail?"

"Yes."

"Wooohooo! And he's wearing a yellow collar?"

"A yellow collar?" I said, "No, this cat hasn't got a head."

You sick bastard

 

[Lavinda Past]

I've been paying £2 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year.....

I missed two payments and they've just been round and broken my cat’s legs....

 

[Lavinda Past]

I went to a party thrown by the RNLI.

They certainly know how to push the boat out.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I met my wife at a 'Singles Night'

I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids

 

[Lavinda Past]

I found a long piece of leather with a loop on the end ..

I took it to the police station and the desk sergeant thought it might be a lead.