Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

and rightly so.

I can't dispute that :-)

 

[Dicko69]

 

[Lavinda Past]

The man who invented personalised number plates has passed away.

His funeral takes place on TUE504Y at 11am.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A group of men have been convicted of stealing roof joists in South Wales.

The press have labeled them the Tenby eight.

 

[Lavinda Past]

"Lucy in the sky with diamonds"

John Lennon... Great lyricist, shit at Cluedo

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

Was in a bit of a rush last night, so I decided to stop for a Chinese takeaway on the way home. Ordered online and nipped in to pick it up. A quick dash back to the carpark, dropped the bag in the passenger footwell and then set off for home.

Anyway, about 5 minutes down the road I thought I heard a rustling noise coming from the bag. Maybe hearing things? Couple of minutes later, I heard it again. Pulled over into a layby, and fearing the worst I cautiously peered into the bag, and there it was, a pair of eyes looking right back at me over the rim of the bag

Turns out it was just the Peeking Duck.

I'll get my coat...

 

[meltonblue]

 

[horlock_was_super]

I'm not falling for that.

I did! He’s a fcuking liar!
It looks like a dog!

 

[horlock_was_super]

Sorted.

That’s a really depressing moment on my 60th birthday - I have not even achieved apprentice level!

I like Bovril as a hot drink, and, at 62,I’m only considered a junior male of the FOC club.

 

[Vienna_70]

Brilliant delivery.