Joke thread

[Pelly Greeny]

The worst Limerick ever!

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the .......river
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ............stomach
And said "you can't swim here, it's private"!


Told you.

You can tell when it's the school holidays, no school in the morning and they're allowed to stay up late.

 

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

She was only the garage hands daughter but she new the smell of benzole

 

[BlueOz]

A wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday...At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hi Jim, How are You?"
The wife asks, "How does he know you?
Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"
Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team."
Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??"
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi...
The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."
Jim's Funeral is on Sunday!!!

 

[crazyg]

The worst Limerick ever!

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the .......river
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ............stomach
And said "you can't swim here, it's private"!


Told you.

You can tell when it's the school holidays, no school in the morning and they're allowed to stay up late.

Left school in 1968, sunshine. I'm 64 today!

 

[Pelly Greeny]

The worst Limerick ever!

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the .......river
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ............stomach
And said "you can't swim here, it's private"!


Told you.

You can tell when it's the school holidays, no school in the morning and they're allowed to stay up late.

Left school in 1968, sunshine. I'm 64 today!

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

 

[crazyg]

You can tell when it's the school holidays, no school in the morning and they're allowed to stay up late.

Left school in 1968, sunshine. I'm 64 today!

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

Why thank you, YOUNG SIR.
Olive branch accepted.

Can't wait until the season after next - half price seasoncard!!

I'm so old (though not as old as some on this site) to have been at Newcastle when we last won the league. Latin was a living language, etc.

 

[law74]

Left school in 1968, sunshine. I'm 64 today!

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

Why thank you, YOUNG SIR.
Olive branch accepted.

Can't wait until the season after next - half price seasoncard!!

I'm so old (though not as old as some on this site) to have been at Newcastle when we last won the league. Latin was a living language, etc.

Why were you at Newcastle when we were playing QPR at home (oh, sorry, old age and a failing memory.....;-))<br /><br />-- Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:57 pm --<br /><br />

Left school in 1968, sunshine. I'm 64 today!

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

Why thank you, YOUNG SIR.
Olive branch accepted.

Can't wait until the season after next - half price seasoncard!!

I'm so old (though not as old as some on this site) to have been at Newcastle when we last won the league. Latin was a living language, etc.

Why were you at Newcastle when we were playing QPR at home (oh, sorry, old age and a failing memory.....;-))

 

[crazyg]

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

Why thank you, YOUNG SIR.
Olive branch accepted.

Can't wait until the season after next - half price seasoncard!!

I'm so old (though not as old as some on this site) to have been at Newcastle when we last won the league. Latin was a living language, etc.

Why were you at Newcastle when we were playing QPR at home (oh, sorry, old age and a failing memory.....;-))

-- Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:57 pm --

And you remembered that limerick from all that way back!! ;-)

There was an old git crazyg
Upset by a post from pelly greeny
So PG took the chance
To offer an olive branch
And wish crazyg a happy birthdee!

Yeah, yeah - I'm on the way to the cloakroom.



Happy Birthday mate and many more of them :-D

Why thank you, YOUNG SIR.
Olive branch accepted.

Can't wait until the season after next - half price seasoncard!!

I'm so old (though not as old as some on this site) to have been at Newcastle when we last won the league. Latin was a living language, etc.

Why were you at Newcastle when we were playing QPR at home (oh, sorry, old age and a failing memory.....;-))

I thank you!

For clarity's sake, I should have inserted the words "in 1968" after "Newcastle" and before "when".

Bloody pedants!

 

[jimharri]

Apparently Oscar wanted a new bathroom door, but Reeva was dead against it.

Spoiler

*cue Titanic pics*

 

[chris63]