Joke thread

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

She was only a politicians daughter, but she certainly taught Sir Geoffrey Howe

 

[oakiecokie]

She was only the lambs mother ,,, but boy did she fuck !!

 

[BlueOz]

"The Italian who went to Malta "

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning i go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress i wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss.. I tella her i wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss ona plate. You sonna ma woman.. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma woman..
Later i go to eat at the bigga restaurant..The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock.. I tella her i wanna fock. She tella me every one wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock onna the table, you sonna ma woman. So i go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed..I calla the manager and tella him i wanna shit. He tella me to go to the toilet.. I say you no understand.. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma woman...
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say; " Peace on you " I say piss on you too, you sonna ma woman.. I gonna go back to Italy......!!!!

 

[billymumphrey]

"The Italian who went to Malta "

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning i go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress i wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss.. I tella her i wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss ona plate. You sonna ma woman.. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma woman..
Later i go to eat at the bigga restaurant..The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock.. I tella her i wanna fock. She tella me every one wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock onna the table, you sonna ma woman. So i go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed..I calla the manager and tella him i wanna shit. He tella me to go to the toilet.. I say you no understand.. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma woman...
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say; " Peace on you " I say piss on you too, you sonna ma woman.. I gonna go back to Italy......!!!!

I guess that's how you make a maltese cross...

 

[Ancient Citizen]

She was only the Fishmonger's daughter,
But she lay on the slab and said fillet.

 

[Anonymous]

She was an acrobat's daughter
She swung by her teeth from a noose
And then one day
Her brace-work gave way
And she flew through the air like a goose

 

[Ancient Citizen]

She was only the Fishmonger's daughter,
But she lay on the slab and said fillet.

One page back. Same joke

Still shit

Sorry, twat, didn't check.
Let's hear one of your rib-ticklers then.

 

[lostmyhouseski]

what is the bear minimum?

one bear

sorry

 

[manclad]

She was only a welders daughter,but she had acetylene tits.

 

[crazyg]

The worst Limerick ever!

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the .......river
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ............stomach
And said "you can't swim here, it's private"!


Told you.