Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[Sam101]

Ever since my wife was bitten by that radioactive owl she makes all my decisions for me.




She's been given power of a tawny.

 

[Sam101]

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman.


It's very rewarding, but quite challenging - took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Our local barber has been invited to Buckingham palace tomorrow to do the King's hair

I asked him "have you got a permit?"

He said "No, just a bit off the back"

 

[Lavinda Past]

My mate lost his job as a dodgems operator for no good reason.

It's ok though. He successfully sued the owner for funfair dismissal.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My neighbour is massively overweight. He's always eating when I see him, he has loads of snacks, deliveries of takeaways, etc.

I'd love to give him some advice about his health, but I think he's probably got enough on his plate at the moment.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A lot of people know Count Doku, the character from Star Wars.

But less people will have heard about his wife, Sue who creates number puzzles.

 

[Lavinda Past]

How many paranoid schizophrenics does it take to change a light bulb?

Who wants to know...?